The best places to cry on campus

The Tab’s Crying Correspondent runs down the best places to shed a tear over your exams

campus crying cypress building graduation university of liverpool

The sun is shining and summer holidays are just around the corner. But it’s still one of the weepiest times of the year for a lot of students.

Exams are hitting us all hard at the moment, lots of people are nervously waiting for coursework marks, and for 3rd years, it’s almost time to finish Uni forever. So it’s understandable that some of the more emotionally fragile students have been spending these recent few weeks on the verge of a teary breakdown.

That’s why we’ve scoured campus to find the best sneaky spots for you to have a little cry without getting spotted by people who actually have their life in order. It may seem odd that most of these places are on South Campus – but then again, if you’re graduating with a STEM degree, you probably don’t feel like crying.

The Cypress Building

Although a terrible choice for the majority of the year, during exams it’s the perfect grief hole. All the classrooms are empty, and most of them are pretty cosy and secluded, so it’s pretty easy to duck into one and get your cry on.

Clap along if you feel like sadness is the truth

Clap along if you feel like sadness is the truth

Be warned – Uni staff wander the building pretty frequently looking for people who aren’t meant to be there. So there’s always a chance you’ll get kicked out by an unsympathetic security guard mid-cry. But it’s worth the risk for the nice views and overall air of melancholy.

Sadness Score – 2/5 – “Upsetting”

A Sydney Jones Storeroom

Below the hordes of studying students, in the grotty bowels of the Sid Jones, lies a network of corridors and service rooms that you’ve got no reason to ever go to. Normally they’d be boring as shit, but if you feel a lump in your throat, there’s no better place to go and bawl your eyes out.

sadb0ys 2014

sadb0ys 2014

Sit down next to the exposed brick walls and dusty old chairs and have a cry, because you’ve found the only place in the world where you truly belong – next to a bunch of unloved, forgotten and broken-down junk.

Sadness Score – 3/5 – “Bleak”

In the Stacks

This is a good shout regardless of which library you’re in. The bookshelves are quiet, secluded, and generally far away from happy people. Perfect. Just find a spot where no-one ever goes – if Friends is anything to go by, the Archaeology section should be perfect – and just let it go.

Books are good, but they can't keep you warm at night.

Books are good, but they can’t keep you warm at night.

Bonus Feature: The pages of the thousands of books you’ll be sharing your grief with are perfect for mopping up those salty, bitter tears of regret. And since they’re inanimate objects, they’ve probably got just as much chance as you of getting a graduate job, you useless wanker.

Sadness Score – 2.5/5 – “Lonely”

19-28 Abercromby Square

If the beautiful baroque architecture of The School of Arts doesn’t get you out of your mood, then you’ll really need this place. Like all good crying spots, there’s a host of deserted corridors and hallways that you can hole yourself up in without disturbance. The fact that you’re surrounded by Academics’ offices – the workplaces of people who have made something of themselves – should really help you wallow.

Even that clapped-out old printer could scrape a 2:1, why can't you?

Even that clapped-out old printer could scrape a 2:1, why can’t you?

Yeah, sit on the floor with the rest of the dirt, you desperate loser.

Sadness Score – 4/5 – “Merciless”

Al Fresco Weeping

Why even try to hide it any more? Everyone can see your red puffy eyes and wet cheeks when you’ve finished crying anyway, so just embrace it. Let go of all those emotions in public. Scream and rave with grief. Accost passersby. Shit yourself, if that’s what it takes. Go fucking nuts, you’ll feel better for it when you’re done.

:'(

:'(

Also, there’s a strong chance this might lead to the Uni stepping in, who may give you extensions, deferred exams, or the opportunity to repeat a year. Another year away from the real world? Result.

Sadness Score – 6/5 – “Liberating”

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