How to be a Hipster

Liverpool is so hip it sort of contradicts itself. But if you want to shed that middle class, rich-boy look, here’s The Tab’s guide:

1. Snap backs. You’ll want to buy a few of these. Now.

2. House music. If you don’t normally listen to it, start getting into it pronto. Don’t worry if it has a 10 minute intro, the more repetitive, the cooler it is.

3. Do Drugs – but only in a totally cool way. If you start talking about drugs or showing any interest in them then your cover will be blown. The key is to be completely nonchalant. If you’re having a small gathering in your room, just start racking up lines in a completely blasé way. Like you were just rolling a cigarette.

4. Occasionally make deep statements. These don’t have to actually mean anything, but say them in a thoughtful way, preferably with a spliff in your mouth. Things like, “Isolation is bliss.” Or, “This sunset perfectly personifies my mood.” Saying random shit like that will make you seem quirky, kind of like a modern day philosopher. Profound, man.

5. Get a weird haircut. Look to the 90’s bowl-cuts for inspiration.

Dayyyymn

6. Have a cool group around you. You want to surround yourself with different versions of yourself, the more hipster the better. Try to get a drug dealer or two in your crew. But remember, never talk about the drugs or the fact that he’s a drug dealer.

7. Become a DJ. With your parents money you can probably afford to buy the equipment. Just having the decks in your room will make you seem legit, and don’t worry; no one will ever actually ask to hear your mixes.

8. Use ‘street’ language. Don’t shy away from ghetto words, like ‘bruv’ or ‘blessed’. You’re at uni, so no one knows how privileged you are. Also, all of your friends are probably as middle class as you, so there aren’t any genuine G’s to show you up.

So ‘G’

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