Deputy Doug, Part I:

All right everyone? This is Doug, The Tab’s very own deputy editor and my right hand man. Doug has to be one of the nicest guys I’ve ever had the pleasure to have met, but he’s not you’re average student. I thought it’d be funny to create a blog so that I can share with you all some of the of the weird and wonderful things he gets up to on a daily basis. Enjoy.

Deputy Doug

• 16^th September 2012: Got in from running some errands around 6ish today, opened the living room door to find Doug sitting there, light off, candle burning, right leg bent and resting on his left knee, smoking a pipe and reading Wuthering Heights. Bemused, I asked, ‘All right Doug, what’re you doing?” He looked up from his page briefly and replied, “Oh, just reading,” and returned to his book.

• 19^th September 2012: Went out last night – initially just for a few drinks and to watch the Man City V’s Real Madrid game – nothing too crazy. Things however, quickly got a little out of hand and the drinks began to flow. After the ‘Holy shit, it’s the really clever bastard motherfuckers,’ came a dead last in the Pub Quiz, we decided to move on and drown our sorrows in town. We’d been in Heebies for about an hour before Doug went AWOL. He didn’t resurface until 3 o’clock the next afternoon when he rang to say he’d woken up with a pile of sick on the left side of his bed, and a freshly made halloumi and tomato sandwich, with rocket side garnish, on the other, that he couldn’t remember making. I guess that’s one of the side effects of necking countless 10% dark chocolate Irish Stouts, at £5.20 a bottle, when you’ve just gone out for a quiet drink, isn’t it, Doug?

Asda’s finest just won’t suffice

• 21^st September 2012: Walked into the kitchen earlier, Doug was there, getting something for dinner. “What’re you eating tonight?” I asked, “think I’m gonna have pizza,” was the reply. Being a student, I assumed ‘pizza’ meant ringing up Pizza Lane and ordering the ‘any 14” pizza, drink and chips combo’ for £3.99, or walking down to Asda and getting any shitty pizza that’s on offer, but oh no, not when it’s Doug we’re talking about: I sat down at the table and turned to see him sprinkling flour on the work top and start rolling out some dough. 30 minutes later, there we were, sat at the table, in typical student fashion, I’d fixed myself a luxurious bowl of cereal with a side order of buttered bread for dinner, whereas Doug had made himself a pizza from scratch and poured himself a nice glass of red.