These are the 7 types of lads in Lincoln you will find on Tinder this Valentine’s Day
For the sorry singles of Lincoln, it’s time to turn to Tinder to find someone this Valentines
During this never-ending pandemi-lovato, dating has got even more difficult and with not a lot to do, almost every singleton has found themselves scrolling through Tinder as an ego boost, or maybe even to find their true love. However, the kind of guy you find on there always comes down to seven main types, each less thrilling than the last. But who knows, every now and again you do find a nice bean amongst them that you can call your own.
Lincoln may have some eligible bachelors hidden in the depths of Tinder, Hinge or Bumble but can you really be bothered to scour through several dating apps to find the one? Especially when you’re met with these different types of lads in Lincoln over the Valentine’s Day season.
First things first, nobody can honestly tell me they haven’t been approached by a rugby lad on a pre-covid night out at least once, especially after a messy night at Quack. They’re the most common male specimen to be found on Tinder, and they typically hit you up with something simple like a chat-up line about your eyes, or alternatively start ripping into your bio.
If you’re lucky, that will evolve into a ‘you up?’ text at 2 am, and that is as advanced as the conversation will ever go. However, they have a cracking sense of humour and some aren’t always as bad as they seem.
Born and raised in Lincoln, their profile consists of them out with the boys, holding a pint and flexing their muscles. Usually have a forearm tattoo, sometimes have a nose piercing. They like wearing skinny jeans, Adidas gazelles and fitted t-shirts. They believe Saturdays are for the boys and football is life.
They usually have electrician or builder as their job description. Should say ‘full time f***boy’. Extra points if they have their hi-vis on in any of the pictures, and keep an eye out for the Snapchat username in the bio. In their defence, usually, they know all the best places to get food and cocktails in Lincoln and they can put back several pints before they get rowdy.
Usually blonde, typically have floppy hair, might be wearing chinos and a jumper in one picture so they seem relaxed, but a suit and bowtie in the next whilst holding a glass of champagne just to remind you of how posh they are. They always have a dog, some kind of spaniel.
Their bio will have an incredibly unfunny joke such as “Stay home if your sicc, come over if you’re thicc”. The thought of that makes me a bit sick in my mouth if I’m being honest.
They actually think that it’s funny too. You have an 80% chance that they have just broken up with their girlfriend back home who was equally as posh and rode horses. He’ll talk about her a lot. Their dog is usually the saving grace for them.
Plenty of mirror selfies, pictures of them skiing, in their uniforms and with the other RAF lads on a night out. They don’t give much away but will message you obscure questions about yourself so as to detract from their obvious lack of personality. If you like consistent replies, they’re not the one for you.
You’ll get a handful of messages across the day and you will leave with slightly less dignity each time you reply. However, they’ll pay for all your drinks, and do seem to listen to what you have to say, so they’re not all that bad.
The curly fringe, the circular glasses, oddly thin moustache and an optional man bun. It’s the quintessential art student. Some of them have cats and they always link their Spotify account so you can see the obscure new wave artist they’re currently listening to. Sometimes they even have pictures of them rolling, and that’s when you know you’ve hit the jackpot. Bonus points if their bio says that they’ll draw you, because who wouldn’t want someone to draw you like one of their French girls? See what I did there?
Film and Photography Students
They ALWAYS have a camera in one of the pictures. Might even have a backpack, baseball cap and a North Face coat. Their Spotify will consist of solely Arctic Monkeys and their bio will have some unironic pun about Tarantino, or their pictures will contain a meme. They’re interesting to talk to nine times out of ten, and they have a good sense of humour. The best of a bad bunch.
You can see a bartender from a mile off. They have tattoos. Lots of them. Usually have stretchers, wear slightly off black skinny jeans that are held up by different coloured braces and have plenty of curly hair. They like to talk about their tattoos and will promise you that they’ll make you a drink sometime, but never come through.
Their pictures will include mirror selfies of them at work and professionally shot photos of them pouring drinks. You can already smell the tequila and disappointment. They have one redeeming quality in that they’re quite open-minded, take from that statement what you will.
Unfortunately, Valentines this year isn’t going to be as exciting as in previous years. If you’re single, look forward to a quiet night in with a takeaway and see how many of the typical Lincoln lads you can find on Tinder. After all, there really is nothing else to do.