I’m proud to be a Hearts and Tarts girl from Hertfordshire and Essex High School

Hearts and Tarts, otherwise known as The Hertfordshire and Essex High School for girls, holds years of history and tradition behind its hideous brown uniforms. Yes, the girls used periods to get of swimming lessons, used loo roll to pad out bras that were two sizes too big,  and we may have all had a crush on a certain head of year.

The Hearts and Tarts girls had a tight-knit sisterhood. We checked the back of each other’s skirts, were always lending tampons, and got into the best bitchy fights that could easily rival Eastenders drama, was just the regular.

Our uniforms acted as a sexual deterrent, but at least they kept us warm 

A key ingredient when starting up an all girls secondary school is a nauseating school uniform, which acted as a sexual deterrent to any boys we actually came into contact with. With traditionally a long brown skirt, this ultimately did have its perks when it came to the winter months and wearing a whole other outfit underneath. It also meant a quick change into a cute outfit for heading into town to see boys.

This soon changed with the introduction of the short skirt. For the teachers it was a lose, lose situation, where we either wore PJ’s under our long skirts (which was never fully explained to us as why we couldn’t), or we rolled up our short skirt so high it looked like we had tyre around our waists. No one but year 7’s would wear them to the knee.

And on non-uniform day we were walking Hollister advertisements

Non-uniform day for the older years was a hassle. It meant making an effort and by that point in your academic life, you kinda just want to leave as soon as possible. But for the younger years, it was your time to shine. It was the day to whip out those UGG boots you got for Christmas, and that top with the Hollister logo plastered on the front, just to blend in like everyone else. Bonus points if you then used the Hollister bag for your P.E kit.

But forgetting your uniform was mortifying

There was always one.

It was so far from what you’d picture a posh all-girls school to be

Now, as soon as the words “girls’ school” are mentioned, dreams of stately homes, vast amounts of perfectly manicured land and a cute, preppy uniform surely spring to mind. Well, you can scrap those ideas entirely, with Herts and Essex, we’re not talking about a secretly funded institution by an Essex sisterhood, instead we’re talking about a standard, grimy secondary school. For instance, the ‘H’ block, was the bane of most students lives. The rumble and roar and elbowing of year 7’s as soon as the bell went could be heard from the other side of the school, as well as students secretly wishing the building had collapsed, meaning we could go home early too.

Everyone knew which boys you’d got with, and they probably had too

There’s no point even trying to keep a relationship on the down low. Another girl has probably already been there done that. If she’s not in your year, then she’ll be in the year below.

The drama was so good we could have our own TV show

Keeping yourself to yourself definitely had its perks, the main one being able to avoid big drama and admire it from afar. Herts and Essex in itself was like its own TV show, every week could guarantee some sort of drama.

One incident involved a two week old Slim Fast banana milkshake on top of a girls head during lunch, purely just for a joke (the perpetrator didn’t think she’d actually cry). There were plenty of pregnancy scares too.

But everyone loved it

Now, don’t get me wrong – I absolutely loved my time at school there. There was a clear element of sisterhood in many situations (periods), and the rivalry between us and other neighbouring schools, was similar to the Hunger Games.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad I’m out of there, but, I’m happy to call it my school.

Sic itur ad astra for life.