Meet the martial arts teams

‘The point is to get in fights with everyone’


Karate

Suzanne Robertson, 21, Accounting and Finance

Suzanne Robertson, 21, Accounting and Finance

What’s the best thing about your club?

The atmosphere. People are really friendly and get on well. It’s quite a small club so people really get to know each other.

Why should freshers join you?

I suppose it’s quite different to what you think about when you think of “sport”. As I said we’re a small club but that means we have a good group dynamic. Socials are always fun and well attended.

Do you have anyone who you could see becoming the next Jackie Chan?

Rachel, she’s so small but you can’t underestimate her because she’s so fierce.

Who’s the most prone to getting injured?

I mean we don’t really have many injuries but I’d say Beth.

Who would you least like to get into a fight with?

Giovanni. He once flipped me over during training and I really wasn’t expecting it.

Beth McCrindle, 20, Physics

What’s the best thing about your club?

It’s a pretty relaxed atmosphere and just a really enjoyable club.

Why should freshers join you?

The people – we’re so friendly and everyone is welcome. We have people from loads of different styles of karate and some who haven’t even done it before so you can always find someone to associate with.

Do you have anyone who you could see becoming the next Jackie Chan?

Definitely Rachel for the same reasons as Suzanne really – she has such a fierce attitude and just goes for it.

Who is the most prone to getting injured?

Without a doubt me. I broke my nose and it all just got worse from there. I’m pretty much just a walking disaster.

Who would you least like to get into a fight with?

Riccardo, his limbs are just so fast and before you know it he has his foot in your face.

Riccardo Parola, 21, Economics and Business

What’s the best thing about your club?

The people.

Do you have any embarrassing or memorable stories from socials or trainings?

We had an ice skating social once and Giovanni, who is the most senior member of the group, just couldn’t stand up at all on the ice. We put it on Facebook and couldn’t stop laughing. You’d think he’d have good balance considering the height he kicks – apparently not.

Why should freshers join you?

You’ll make really good friends. Also there’s a lot of transferrable skills you’ll learn here which you can use in everyday life.

Do you have anyone who you could see becoming the next Jackie Chan?

Beth. Maybe a bit of bias there, I don’t want her to hit me.

Who is the most prone to getting injured?

Beth Beth Beth. If there’s ever something bad happening, it’s always to her.

Who would you least like to get into a fight with?

Definitely Giovanni.

Muay Thai

Lucy Hough, 20, Theatre and Film

What’s the best thing about your club?

The training is pretty good because of the fitness aspect and the socials are always fun.

Why should freshers join you?

I think we’re the third biggest club on campus, the club went to Ibiza, we have regular trainings, it’s a great laugh and everyone is very welcoming. But most importantly, the guys are hot and there’s loads of abs.

Do you have anyone who you could see becoming the next Jackie Chan?

Cameron Chackvety, I kicked him in the balls once and he just stood up and took it like a man. It was by accident of course…

Who is the most prone to getting injured?

Me I’d say, as I’ve done the last few training sessions with a broken foot. Cameron is pretty bad for it too though.

Who would you least like to get into a fight with?

Alex, he’s far too tall. I’d need to stand on a box to be able to kick his head. Plus, he always wants to play the drinking games I can’t do.

Alex Mas, 22, Economics

What’s the best thing about your club?

How big and fun it is. The hall we train in is massive but we have to reject like 50 people each week because it’s so popular. We’re so welcoming though from our coaches to our players. It’s loads of fun too.

Do you have any embarrassing or memorable stories from socials or trainings?

We took our club tour to Ibiza and Carlos passed out in the club bathroom. He woke up at eight in the morning, the party was still going on but he decided to walk 22 kilometres to our hotel because he refused to pay for a cab. Nobody knew where he was until that afternoon.

Why should freshers join you?

It’s easy going and we’re all very sociable. It’s also just a good workout really. You learn lots of skills too – not saying you should just go and punch people though.

Do you have anyone who you could see becoming the next Jackie Chan?

SJ because all the dude ever wants to do is upside-down kick you. He’s just straight out of a Chinese movie.

Who is the most prone to getting injured?

Hugo, I’ve injured him a lot of times. He’s just a natural dunce – when it comes to muay thai of course (just in case he reads this).

Who would you least like to get into a fight with?

Our captain Lewis Watson. He doesn’t always win but when he loses, he loses in style. Anyone that can do that can do some damage on a normal person I’d say.

Ronan Farrell, 20, Neuroscience

What’s the best thing about your club?

How close everyone is and the socials are really good – everyone tends to show up to them. We’re one of the biggest clubs on campus and we’re just so tight-knit.

Do you have any embarrassing or memorable stories from socials or trainings?

We had a bar brawl at one point and the winning team got two bottles of vodka from Viper. Well I think I consumed most of the two bottles by myself and had to be carried out of Viper by my flatmates.

Why should freshers join you?

There’s so much fitness but it’s dead fun. You get to let all of your anger and frustration out on the pads and don’t have to worry about hurting people.

Do you have anyone who you could see becoming the next Jackie Chan?

Leo – he’s always been a bit of a ninja. He likes to walk on his hands and do flips.

Who is the most prone to getting injured?

Hugo F. During every session he just seems to bleed or break something.

Who would you least like to get into a fight with?

Our coach Lynn. We call him Quadzilla.

Kendo

Matej Poliacek, fourth year, Statistics

What’s the best thing about your club?

It’s good cardio, and the social aspect is fun.

Do you have any embarrassing or memorable stories from socials or trainings?

There are fun struggles with hangovers on Sundays but we won’t outdo other clubs.

Why should freshers join you?

It’s cool. We’re a friendly group and we always make sure everyone is up to speed, including beginners.

Who is the most prone to getting injured?

Kendo is really safe, injuries don’t happen that often.

Who would you least like to get into a fight with?

The point of Kendo is get in fights with everyone. In a nice way.

Judo

Jason, sixth year, Medicine

What is the best thing about your club?

Lots of competitions. Our training is a really high level and we attract players from all over the world. The Renicks sisters who won Gold at the Commonwealth games are coming to train with us.

Do you have any embarrassing or memorable stories from socials or trainings?

Everyone has seen each other in some state of undress. We can get a bit stupid at competitions.

Why should freshers join you?

We’re awesome. We’re really inclusive, you can get involved from the start.

Who is the most prone to getting injured?

Who isn’t?

Who would you least like to get into a fight with?

Ronda Rousey. Or anyone I can’t pick up.

Nora, fourth year, Art History

What is the best thing about your club?

We’re open minded, physically and emotionally.

Do you have any embarrassing or memorable stories from socials or trainings?

I walked into a lamp-post, that wasn’t at judo though. People rip their trousers a lot.

Why should freshers join you?

Because we’re awesome.

Who is the most prone to getting injured?

Catherine, she bruises easily.

Do you have anyone who you could see becoming the next Jackie Chan?

Jason could.

Who would you least like to get in a fight with?

Our coach David.

Selina, fourth year, Politics

What is the best thing about your club?

We’re a friendly and welcoming society with all different levels, and you can start as a beginner.

Do you have any embarrassing or memorable stories from socials or trainings?

A lot of people here have walked into furniture, not at judo though.

Why should freshers join you?

The mix between intense sport with help and welcoming people, but also the socials. We go out every Wednesday.

Do you have anyone who you could see becoming the next Jackie Chan?

Peter, our coach. He won Community Coach of the Year at the Judo Scotland awards.

Who would you least like to get in a fight with?

Mountain from Game of Thrones.