Aye, Glaswegian really is the sexiest accent around

Recently, a British Airways survey recognised the sultry tones of Glasgow as the hottest in the UK, beating the likes of Scouse, Geordie and Cockney for top spot. It seems people are lusting over Gerard Butler and James McAvoy more often than their English counterparts, as their good looks and acting prowess are accompanied by an accent more endearing than a basket of fluffy kittens.

Even if you’ve only been in Glasgow a couple of months, this can hardly be surprising. I mean, who could possibly be swayed from the seductive charm of Glasgow to the harsh withered Liverpudlian Scouse? Glaswegian’s tough and “manly” voices sweep away the hearts of everyone they come into contact with, whether they be your early Sunday morning taxi driver or your cinema heartthrob.Let’s be honest, you’d rather listen to the captivating voice of Billy Connolly narrating a TV show than have your ear drums bled out by the screech of a Scouse alternative.

All I really need to understand is when you talk Glasgow to me

When you chat to a Glaswegian, sure there are odd occasions when you have to simply nod your head in agreement because you can’t understand what they just said to you. But that voice is far too mesmerising for you to care. You’d pay to keep them around just so your heart could be melted time and time again into a pool of love and harmony.

If you’re reading this and blessed to be a native Glaswegian, this announcement is great news. You won’t need to rely on your intelligence or looks in order to woo your next partner while dancing in Viper or Kushion. Your voice will be enough to convince anyone you’re the real deal. You have the soothing, sensationalising tones required to be the sexiest human being in your neighbourhood.

Some of you may still be unconvinced the Glasgow accent is the hottest property around, but I’m afraid Glaswegians possess the gift of God. They rule the accent kingdom, and aye, you should all be a wee bit jealous.