What’s with the door to nowhere? The weirdest things about Glasgow campus

Why is it so hard to find your room in the main building

Having to study is obviously the first issue, something Strathy and Caley won’t have to worry about.

Us Glasgow “wankers” will defend our uni until the day we die. There really is no better place than the West End and Edinburgh are twats if they think their uni looks like Hogwarts.

But there are a few flaws in the mix which we just can’t get over.

The Door


This is perhaps the biggest mystery of Glasgow University. Where does it lead? What is its purpose? No one knows.

Maybe it’s where the lecturers group together and hibernate during the holidays, or perhaps it’s home to the library security guards who watch over us from the comfort of their living room.

All we need to answer these burning questions is a master key and a really big stepladder. Any volunteers?

The main building

Glasgow’s main building not only looks like Hogwarts but it also holds strong resemblances to the Triwizard Maze in the Goblet of Fire. Bearing in mind there was only one winner and Cedric Digory died.


The main building’s lack of room numbers makes it near impossible to find your lecture room, and every corridor looks the bloody same.


There are also a number of turrets which hide classrooms. Handy for those of you aced your Divination class, this is swell and you can read tea leaves all the way to your desk. For everyone else, good luck finding any signs to direct you.

Where’s the Marauder’s Map when you need it?

The Hill


Not only do we have to work hard and pass exams but it turns out we need to pass this survival of the fittest test too. Someone overtaking you on Library Hill is the equivalent of poking a sleeping tiger, you will not be overtaken, not today, not ever.

It just means you get to the library looking like you’ve just got back from a swim in the Clyde.

The uni is literally called the Gilmorehill Campus, hill being the operative part.

Nobody believes the “health body, healthy mind” crap, crawling up this killer of a hill is not our idea of fun, and our motivation to get out of bed in the morning is being seriously challenged every day.

The West End


If it wasn’t bad enough we have to pay obscene amounts for uni fees and travel costs, this area of Glasgow definitely puts the middle class icing on the cake.

The uni is in the heart of the West End: notorious for its expensive flats and useless landlords. Broken shower anyone?

cry me a river.. so I can get a wash

Not ideal

Yes, it may only be a five minute walk to uni, which sounds convenient. But when the time comes to sell your last pair of shoes and a kidney so you can pay next month’s rent, it won’t seem like such a great place after all.

The Square

We all remember the moment when we first saw our lecture timetable. You feel fairly confident as you look over each building and room number, and you’re starting to understand where each of your lectures are for this term. Sound.

But then you come across this bastard and your only reaction is to say “What the fuck is The Square?”


For those of you who are still trying to locate this ambiguous place, it’s apparently the courtyard hidden to the right of the main building

Most of the time, half the entrances aren’t even open, so you have trail all the way around the building to find the room you’re looking for. And when you do eventually get inside there are loads of doors, so many doors.


Glasgow, sort yourself out.