Things to do instead of your dissertation

Because your video cupboard won’t alphebetise itself

concentration dissertation distraction struggle

One of the main life skills learnt at uni is the ability to distract yourself from anything worthwhile, sometimes for days at a time.

We start out with the best intentions but without fail procrastinate the daylight hours away with the most menial, unusual tasks. You sit down to write an essay and before you know it you’ve left your desk and find yourself arranging the video cupboard in alphabetical order.

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Get organised

When you sit down to start that piece of work that counts for 40 per cent of your degree make sure you create study folders and folders within folders so that all the information on your assignment is impeccably organised and easy to track.

This should take over an hour if done correctly.

You’ll feel like you could take on the world with your organisation skills and completely deserving of a first class degree. Use these good vibes to get through the prospect of writing the work that will actually get you those grades.

Take a Facebook break

You’ll want to do a quick check of Facebook at this point because you’ve been working so hard.

Look for videos on your newsfeed that will force you to do more internet browsing. For example: Behind the Scenes with Sia: Elastic Heart. Watch that.

Then YouTube Dance Moms fights. Then Google the Abby Lee Dance Company. Brilliant time wasting – at least 25 minutes.

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Pop some labels

Make sure you put on hideous clothes before you start writing because you’ll keep catching sight of yourself in the mirror and think “I can’t focus until I change.”

Now allow a clothing explosion to erupt in your room. And if you don’t tidy this right now you never will, yet another immensely useful distraction.

Snap it up

Once you’ve tidied up, you should let all your friends see the fruits of your labour. Before you know it you’re having a back and forth snap-convo, which could easily waste half an hour.

And don’t just Snapchat – you can spend a solid ten minutes just choosing a filter on Instagram.

Get sticky

Make the most of being in prime organisation mode and make some labels for your book. After all, how can you start working if you can’t tell your books apart?

You’ll find this activity really enjoyable, and will look for more things to stick labels on.

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Take a TV time out

Try sit down to start writing at an awkward time, like 2.40pm, because you can then use the excuse that you’d rather start on the hour so to keep better track of time. Then you can squeeze in an episode of Girls or The Office, and guaranteed you will actually end up watching between five and six episodes.

At this point, it’s best to rejoice in defeat and start getting ready for that night out you promised wouldn’t happen.

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You weren’t kidding anyone.