15 things that prove you’ve found your Edi uni wife

They say university is about making friends for life, or maybe even a romantic partner for life if you’re lucky. But no one ever talks about how you might find your friendship soulmate.

A friendship soulmate is someone who sticks by you no matter what, and who loves you unconditionally despite all the craziness you bring. Some might even say they’re your uni wife.

So, here’s a list of things that you and your Edi uni wife must do in order to deserve the label. And yes, that is a prestigious label that you should care about.

1. ‘Hey I’m just heading out, but do you wanna come with me?’ ‘YES’

They could ask you to trek up Arthur’s Seat to hide a dead body and you’d be down because that’s your bestie. As long as you’re together it’ll be a good time.

Also, the idea of doing anything alone just gives you social anxiety now because you’re just so accustomed to doing everything together.

2. You don’t enter the library without them, or if you do, they’re on standby to deliver snacks and emotional support

There’s nothing better than looking up at the library and seeing your friend peeking over the weird desk dividers staring at you lovingly. It’s the only work motivation that matters.

Or, if you’re mid mental breakdown over your diss, they’re always there to deliver love in some form or another. Such troopers.

3. The level of romanticism when you go to the big Sainsbury’s in Cameron Toll together will never be reached by your actual partner

Since the pandemic has caused a shopping trip to be the most exciting and invigorating time of the day,  you need to spend this time wisely.  And wisely means going with your uni wife and no one else.

Who else would know to remind you to buy that rogue TikTok item you wanted? It’s so romantic, you have to resist the urge to hold hands.

4. They’ve dived into the crowd at a club/crawled on the floor to recover a lost item for you (if they’ve done this in Gari’s or Hive you better actually be married)

The most caring thing anyone could ever do for you is risk their lives in order to save yours. Looking along a club floor for something that your mate lost is on the exact same level of adoration and dedication.

Bonus points if they’ve picked something up that wasn’t yours, but carried on looking anyway. 

5. You go day drinking together at Pear Tree without hesitation

Because day drinking at the Pear Tree seems to solve everything. Sharing a pitcher is the way to go – how else would you take a cute picture of them to put on your story?

6. You have at least one picture of you guys together in The Meadows with the sun setting behind you

You need this to prove that you guys have in fact gone outside and not just been in each other’s rooms for hours. Bonus points if you’re holding some form of alcohol.

7. You’ve set up a Hinge profile together in search of double dates

Partly because of your separation anxiety, but partly because you know who the perfect man/woman is for your wife, and the best way to sus them out is to actually be on the date with them.

Plus that way you have actual evidence to support your supercritical opinions.

8. Your room is just a shrine to your friendship 

Pictures of your parents? Nope. Pictures of your pet? Maybe one at most. But pictures of your wife? Yeah, they can go from the floor to the ceiling.

9. You’ve gone swimming together at Portobello

True friendship means braving the cold together. Or at the very least, one of you is on the side cheering the other on like a supportive mum, ready with a towel to shield their chaotic daughter from the cold Edi winds.

10. You met in halls and somehow are still friends

It’s either due to the shared rage of hating everyone else in your flat because of their mess and loud sex noises (or both… simultaneously) has caused a bond for life OR because you experienced a reckless night in freshers together that has meant that the pair of you have secrets you can’t risk getting out.

Or maybe you’ve just both endured the most traumatic experience Edi uni can offer: Pollock dinners.

11. You’ve had some form of deep and philosophical chat/revelation on Arthur’s seat

There’s something about sitting on the edge of a sweeping steep cliff that opens your eyes and soul into the deeper meanings of how the two of you magically met and somehow haven’t felt an urge to strangle each other yet, despite spending all your time together. It’s the friendship for life revelation.

12. Somehow your wardrobes have ended up looking exactly the same

Spending 24/7 together does create similar habits, including when it comes to clothes. It doesn’t help that you always shop along Princes Street together.

13. You’ve memorised each other’s Deliveroo orders

When you aren’t cooking each other a meal to share (it’s economical and cute) you’re ordering food for each other. Let’s be honest, Ting Thai is probably sick of seeing your names with two orders of pad thai.

14. You always end up buying them something after you’ve popped out because ‘it reminded me of you and you just had to have it’

It could be a plant. It could also be a type of cheese. Or a new spatula. If it’s a trip to the bargain store, it could be a pair of random Halloween costumes that you just want to wear ironically.

But your bestie just knows what you’re in need of and they’ll be sure to get it for you.

15. They plan spontaneous activities for you and you just go along with it because that’s your wife

You get bombarded with plans like: ‘Tomorrow let’s go to Braid Hills and Pret, and then maybe check out what Pollock looks like just for the bants, and then after we could go to Zara because I saw a cute top online that I want.’

But you’d still be down.

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