The four stages of a midterm crisis at uni inspired by Beyoncé’s Lemonade

It’s been over three years since Beyoncé, the holy queen, released her album Lemonade, which was about processing infidelity in her relationship. But what happens when you cheat on your work at uni?

Everyone starts out a new semester saying that things are going to be different, but when it’s halfway through, things start to spiral out of control. You might realise that you’ve been faffing all this time and had no idea. Will you ever change?

Let’s set the scene. Your course, aka, Beyoncé, has been neglected by you, Jay Z. At the start you told her you would work super hard and how lucky you felt to be involved with her. But now you just don’t put in the effort you used to.  Beyoncé has been waiting all month for you to show her that you care and that you can keep those promises. But you gaslight her; you say you’ll write a draft of that essay, but you never do. Nights turn to days, which turn to weeks. You’re suddenly halfway through the semester and your situation is at breaking point. Which will you choose, your ego or your course?

Stage 1: Intuition, denial, anger

Hold up, slow down, back up: I forgot this essay was due

You’ve known about your essay for a month, but suddenly it’s the night before the deadline and all you have in the Word document is 250 words. You check Blackboard and Learn for the deadline date and your fears have been realised. How could you leave it this long? *Cue the spiral.*

Stage 2: Apathy, emptiness, loss

I ain’t sorry (for being a procrastinating Patricia)

Okay, so you managed to submit the essay in time. But instead of feeling relaxed and calm you feel numb. Thinking back to the days when you filled out your UCAS form to apply to universities, you wonder how you scammed your way into the system. But you simply can’t address all these feels so you overcompensate and do the most, whether it’s socialising loads or eating junk food to numb the pain.

Stage 3: Accountability, reformation, forgiveness

Nine times out of ten, I’m in my feelings

Ten times out of nine, I know I’m lying

After a few days of wearing a black veil to wallow in your stubborn, stubborn ways, you look in the mirror and see that the spiral isn’t worth it. You peel back the veil, coming face to face with your denial. Yes, you did wrong, but you can do better. Your course deserves better. And so do your grades. Don’t play yourself, sweetie!

Final stage: Resurrection, hope and redemption

We built sand castles that washed away

I made you cry when I walked away

You made promises that you broke. That insincerity led you to your midterm crisis. But you can only change if you really want to and put the effort in. 

You have two choices, either manage your expectations or step up to your responsibilities. And that my friend, is on periodt!