The 2019 Love Island contestants as Brexit options
Someone send this to Downing Street
Love Island contestants and Brexit options have a lot in common; controversial, attention grabbing and crucial to the future of our nation.
It's time we examine what really unites us and divides us.
Michael Griffiths – No Deal Brexit
Michael would break the economy as quickly and easily as he breaks hearts. The opposite of a team player, Michael is in it for himself. He abruptly leaves women to play the field and would deffo do the same with supranational institutions. An option that is, to put it bluntly… chaldish.
Maura Higgins – Revoke Article 50
Maura won't take shit from anyone and certainly not those risking her future icon status. She never takes half measures and it's her way or the highway. Unpopular among some and fanny flutters inducing for others, Maura will fight it out to remain on top.
Amy Hart – Theresa May's Deal
Amy has a lot in common with Tezza and her failed deal. Both stuck around for ages, persisted against all hope, tried and tried again and ultimately failed to stick. Both were annoying, but their departure speeches were worthy of some sympathy.
Ovie Soko – People's Vote
He's the future we all deserve but probably won't get. A man of the people who just wants what's best for everyone. Cool, calm and collected, Ovie won't just rush in to big life changes. He'll take things slow to ensure the best outcome, listening to all voices in the process.
Curtis – The Labour Plan
Trying to please the masses but alienating everybody in the process. Curtis wanted to leave Amy all along but remained with her to maintain a 'nice guy' image. Then, in the end he opted for the most popular girl in the villa.
Was he playing a game or is he just stupid? Probs both.
Anton Danyluk – Scotland Remaining in the EU and Leaving the UK
Anton can't be arsed dealing with other people's messes. He doesn't have time for the drama and considers himself a fixer. However, the way he goes about dealing with conflict – Molly-Mae being a prime example – is highly controversial and for many, not a good look.
Molly-Mae – Brexit with a New Deal
Molly-Mae wants it all and is pretty confident she can get it. For example, she will bury her head in the sand promoting fast fashion while the Amazon burns just to keep her PLT dreams alive. In the end, we know it just won't work out.