The Edinburgh Uni library toilets are the worst thing about revision

Sort it out, Edinburgh

7am alarms to make sure you get a seat, water fountains that take four days to fill up your bottle, and overpriced salads – you’d think the library experience couldn’t get much worse; but somehow, it does.

The Central Library bathrooms have problems way deeper than the usual single ply loo paper.

They are corners of hell.


Unventilated, poorly lit, and unloved. Beyond those clattering doors lies a pit of filth and disgust. The pungent smell creeps up on you as you get within five meters of the door, preparing you for what lies ahead.

Inside it’s always just as grim as you remember from your last loo break. The stench hits its highest level, and the race to get it over with begins.


Questionable stains aside, the taps are my main concern. Who designed a faucet that requires constant pressing? How am I meant to thoroughly wash both of my hands, single handedly? These are the questions that race through my mind as I frantically try to catch the jets of water with both hands. Am I in an airplane loo? Where am I going? How can I effectively wash my hands of all the germs from those salty door handles if I can only clean one hand at a time?

If that wasn’t bad enough, you end up soaking yourself because of the backsplash those taps spit out. Why don’t the water fountains have such aggressive pressure?


The soap dispensers don’t provide much remorse. I’ll never understand dispensers that foam the soap up before release, I am very capable of foaming my own soap, thank you. It means I have to press it about 20 times to get a good lather, revealing to the world how much of a hygiene freak I am.

One decision I will never understand was to install the world’s loudest hand driers in existence in the supposedly quietest building on campus.


Yes, sure, they were kinda cool back in 2009, but now can we all admit all they really do is slide water up and down your hands and make a load of noise?

Then, as you are just about to escape a sign on the door lets you know about the amazing new ‘dual flush toilets’ the uni has invested in. Which genius decided to put these signs so you see them AFTER you’ve flushed the loo?


Why can’t the library learn from fine water closets of the DHT basement, or better still, 50 George Square? These are hammam spas in comparison – with paper towels aplenty, taps that don’t require constant attention, and healthy ventilation.

Yes, it’s true, there are more important things to worry about in life (like impending exams) but it would be nice if the library bathrooms didn’t smell like open sewage.

Edinburgh, please sort it out.