It’s time to stop making fun of English Lit students

Arguably, English Lit students are a bit of an easy target when STEM students want to vent their frustrations, and mask their own crippling anxiety that no future employer is going to want them. Whilst some of the venomous remarks may be a little too true for comfort, studying English definitely has its perks:

We only have six contact hours a week

Friendships are more likely to flourish outside of lectures

The opening gambit from English Lit haters often centres on our contact hours, or lack thereof. But let’s face it, choosing a degree with a maximum of nine hours per week is great. For starters, you don’t need to learn to love the eclectic collection of people in your poetry seminar, because you’ll probably only see them for another three hours of your life.

… therefore we loads of spare time

Flat White brunch whenever you want

With all that spare time on your hands comes the freedom to do whatever you fancy, whenever you can be bothered. Six-night bender? No problem. We all came to uni to escape parentally enforced curfews, and English lets you take full advantage of such. Also, Netflix.

Next comes the subject of sport. Admittedly, from a recent show of hands in a lecture, sport uptake amongst Literature students is quite low. However, should you decide to break that mould, you’ll have ample time to meander over to Maiden Castle.

Sleep, sleep and more sleep

Sleep deprivation certainly isn’t an issue for us. When STEM kids are slaving away in the library until 3am, and have to be up again for their 9am lecture, our one 2pm lecture doesn’t look too shabby. Especially since you were never going to write on Bleak House in the exam, so attendance is basically optional. Need a lie in because all that Chaucer has (understandably) worn you out? Go for it.

We're always fun on a night out

Why you ask? Because we're creative, and the more drunk we get the more vivid our imagination becomes. Plus we probably don't need to get up for an early morning lecture, so we'll be up for a heavy night any time.

We are professional wafflers

The real selling point of English Literature lies in soft skill development. Sure, being able to count is cool and all, but as a Literature student I have learnt to speak for ten minutes on a subject I know nothing about when mercilessly picked on in a tutorial. Also, when will I ever need to dissect a rat in real life?

English Lit students are the most cultured students on campus

We are actually capable of having intellectually stimulating conversations about literature, music, art… you name it. That's more than can be said for many science students who may know a bit about computer games but that's it.

We're definitely the most fashionable students around

Have you ever seen an English Lit student looking dishevelled, tired, or plain? Nah, didn't think so. These people know how to dress fashionably and how to look decent at all times. The statement English Lit look usually involves stripey tops and tiny jewellery, and probably a nose piercing.

English Lit sets you up well for life

On applicant holder day, the department sang the praises of Hallgarth House: “You can even have picnics in the summer”. However, in the cold light of October it transpires that nearly all your lectures are in the aesthetically defunct Elvet Riverside, an no one in their right mind wants to go on a picnic in the rain. Acclimatising to disappointment will prove a key life skill in five years’ time when, in your inevitable career as a teacher, you realise 13-year olds don’t care about Shakespeare, and never will.

In defence of Elvet Riverside, at least we will never have to scale cardiac hill.