Investigation: New Klute

We all remember where we were when the new Klute was announced. It sent shock waves through Facebook that few of us could ignore.

It all seemed a little over dramatic, but soon calmed slightly with the plethora of ‘Hitler hears about new Klute’ videos flooding youtube. The change has created two camps in the city, it has split friends, it has given people a common enemy, it's unbelievable really.

Being a big believer in not knocking it if you haven’t tried it, I headed out into the ever colder Durham night to experience nouveau Klute myself. I went more ‘dressy’ than I normally would for Klute, making a slight effort. I don’t want to lie to you readers, I was scared, more so of the angry students than the locals. I could just imagine the fights outside and with the social networking outrage I don’t think I was being over dramatic. However I had nothing to fear, just as before I got into Klute free and no one was hurt.

So in order to get a fair idea of how people felt about new Klute I went into interview mode for one word answers. Sum up new Klute in one word ranged from ‘different’ to ‘amazing’; a few were confused by one word describing it as ‘Really great I like it’ and ‘I don’t like it on principle but if you just take it as a new club and forget Klute ever existed it is good’, and one guy just asked me why I was pretending to hold a microphone. I even managed to have a quick chat with the manager, who seemed really sweet and excited about the opening night. I tried my best moves but he has decided we shall remain friends…

Some things did make me feel a bit sad. The missing boards of course, giving my coat in to a grown up in the cloakroom not a Durham student, the loss of the rugby videos and the sense that Klute used to be ours and ours alone. I can understand why people are sad, Klute was unique and held a special place in many of our hearts, but I don’t understand some of the fury. Especially the reaction to the locals being allowed in, they’ve been nothing but nice to me during my time here. Over hearing one of their chat up lines, ‘Do you have a cat? Because I would love to see your pussy…’, made my night, and possibly the unsuspecting victim's night as well!

The general feel of the night was good and people seemed to be having a great time. It was odd running around Klute and not recognising every single face as you would on a college night, but it wasn’t awful. The new floor meant another bar, and I can’t argue with that (lad). The new covers in the smoking area were a resounding success from the many that stand outside and don’t even really know what the inside of Klute looks like. There was toilet roll in the loos which after years of hearing girls shout ‘I’m going to have to drip dry’, I think everyone will agree that’s a positive change. Of course for the purpose of the article I checked the boys loos: I didn’t go in as it is the easiest way to find men with their willy already out as some suspected. They looked impressive (the toilets that is).

Waking up the next morning and looking back on the night I am going to say Klute is still great, different yes, but great! People still made out in the dark but less dingy corners of the dance floor so don’t worry, your pulling powers (if you ever had any) have not been reduced by the changes. People were still stumbling around with their Quaddies, the bouncers still had an eagle eye on a certain fat man who will remain nameless, and ‘That’s Amore’ was the final song. I guess some things never change.

It was only one night, but I have high hopes for new Klute, and I think everyone should try it before they knock it.­­­­­­