Losing your hearing, creepy guys and everything else you will learn as a female bartender

I am not your ‘babe’


Working as a bartender is an eye-opening experience to say the least and you will learn a lot of different life lessons during your shifts, some good and some harsh realities.

Everyone will flirt with you

Men and women alike, no one is above shamelessly flirting to try and get a free drink. I am just a bartender, I do not have the power to discount your drinks because I feel like it, and I don't really fancy losing my job for you. Especially when you are slurring your words and have a VK stained top. Buy your drink and get out the way please.

Drunk girls are the best

Drunk girls are what get me through my shifts some nights. No matter how dickish the guys are, girls will always compliment you, ask your name and often invite you to dance with them. I've never seen a mean drunk girl and to be honest, I live for them. Never stop.

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Can you feel the love?

Drunk lads are the worst

This sounds harsh, but it's true. Big groups of very drunk lads get far too excited and inappropriate which cause nothing but problems. They feel some need to prove their masculinity by pushing one another and downing their drinks at ridiculous speeds. From fights to being hit on by six different people at once, there's nothing good to come from a group of boys approaching you.

You will shamelessly flirt for tips

Whilst drunken morons will try to flirt to spend less money, you will find yourself doing the same thing to try and get a tip. A little eye contact and brushing their hands whilst you hand their drink over ought to do it. Slightly immoral to prey on people whilst they're under the influence, but a girl's got to eat!

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Please don't come to my bar

You will lose your hearing after one shift

When you're dancing away without a care in the world there's nothing better than blasting music. When you're stone cold sober you find yourself turning into a middle aged woman, complaining about how loud the music is and how late it has got. An added perk of being a bartender is the progressive deafness you will experience. If your club gives out earplugs to wear, use them. Your ears will thank you.

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I now understand why no one goes out sober

You have to smile constantly

If you want tips, smiling is a must. No matter how many times you have to turn down inebriated idiots, no matter how many drinks are spilt on you, no matter how many people argue with you when you refuse to serve them, you need to smile through the pain and channel your inner zen. There's nothing worse than a grumpy bartender.

You will endlessly recite 'I'm sorry, but I don't make the prices'

If you go out on a Saturday, don't take it out on the bar staff when a round of drinks pushes you into your overdraft. I don't make the prices, and honestly I couldn't give two shits whether or not you're upset by them. Either accept your fate and hand over the cash or go home, either way, don't whine to me – I'm not your babysitter.

Drunk people are like toddlers

The biggest thing you will learn from being on the other side of the bar is how alike drunk people and children are. Both have an inability to read social cues, are inexplicably drawn towards boobs and cannot drink without spilling it down their front. As long as you don't have to interact with them, drunk people provide a fantastic evening of entertainment.

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Who doesn't love a good ball pit tbh

Working on the other side of a nightclub scene is tiring, sticky and causes you to lose your voice constantly however I wouldn't change it for the world. The music makes the shift go by so fast, the people are all lovely and it's just great fun. If only bartenders didn’t have to interact with customers, the drunk people would provide a great evening of entertainment for us all.