The Cambridge Tab articles of 2021 that never were

As 2021 draws to a close, ‘tis the season for a bit of annual reflection. Throughout the year at the Tab we come up with so many amazing content ideas, but only the best get turned into fully-fledged articles.

However, this New Year, as a special treat, after a strange, difficult year, I thought I would open up the archives (by which I mean scroll up through several Messenger group chats) to bring to light for the first time, the Tab Articles of 2021 that nearly yet never were.

1. The Tab Investigates: The Strangest Stash

The best stash I own (Image Credit: Zac Copeland-Greene)

All the way back in virtual Lent Term, Lifestyle editors Poppy Robinson and Matilda Head (soon-to-be Michaelmas Editors-in-Chief of the Tab) decided to run an investigation into the strangest College stash.

The two Selwynites started their research with the official College Teddy Bear and Bicycle Seat Cover, while I, a proud Girtonian, offered the official Girton College “Buster the Cat” Soft Toy – the former college cat who passed away in 2018. 

Unfortunately, it seemed no other college was able to live up to this “quirkiness”, and the idea was quickly passed over. I guess some colleges are just built different.

2. The Tab Tries: Every Sainsbury’s in Cambridge

The only surviving evidence of my trip (Image Credit: Zac Copeland-Greene)

Back in the dying days of Easter Term, after exams had all finished I decided to waste a day on my bike by visiting every Sainsbury’s in the city of Cambridge. I started at FarAwaybury’s (or as I call it “CloseToGirtonbury’s”) went through Mainsbury’s and Slocal in town and up towards Trainsbury’s.

My little legs didn’t however quite feel up to getting all away to FarFarAwaybury’s, which I thought I would save for another day. At every Sainsbury’s I took a selfie and made some notes on my phone intending to write an in-depth review for The Tab.

Unfortunately, I have since lost all photographic evidence of my day-tripping aside from one saved Instagram story of me being very lost outside Homerton. On the bright side, this Michaelmas, Features writer Isabella Manfredi ranked EVERY supermarket in Cambridge, going above and beyond my more focused attempt. 

3. EXCLUSIVE Interview: A Crushbridge for Crushbridge?

This is not the actual Crushbridge we submitted (Image Credit: Author’s Screenshot)

Back in February 2021, the Tab conducted an exclusive interview with the anonymous admins behind the popular Facebook confession page, Camfess. This Michaelmas, Senior Editor, Hannah Huang thought it would be good to do another interview, but this time with the equally popular page, Crushbridge.

Hannah (now incumbent Editor-in-Chief of the Tab) solved the obvious problem of how to get in touch with a purposefully anonymous admin, by sending an interview offer through the Crushbridge submission box. Unfortunately, the admins never replied to this spark of genius – though of course if you’re reading this, Crushbridge, the offer still remains open. 😉 

4. How to get over Freshers’ Flu Fast

Freshers’ Flu was horrendous this Michaelmas, you don’t need a Tab article to tell you that. However, in Week One I was asked to write a guide to how to get over Freshers’ Flu as quickly as possible, with secrets such as the only shop in Cambridge to still be stocking Strepsils.

Unfortunately, before I could write this article, I myself succumbed to the Freshers’ Flu at the end of Week One. By the time Week Five came back around, I was ready to write a special week five edition of the article when I was struck down again with the malady. As a result, my article on Freshers’ Flu never happened due to … Freshers’ Flu. Oh, the irony.

5. Learning to Ride a Bike with the Tab

I do, of course, know how to ride a bike (Image Credit: Fiona Gibbs)

Being a Girtonian passionate about proper cycling etiquette (i.e. always wearing a helmet, and going the right way down THAT one-way system), I’d been itching all year to get a Tab article written on the subject.

The perfect opportunity came along in Michaelmas when Features Section Editor Declan Boyd learnt that Senior Editor Charlie Scott-Haynes was unable to ride a bike and thought that would make a great Tab article. It turns out however that teaching someone to ride a bike from scratch is a bigger commitment than you might expect, especially for Cambridge students!

6. Inside the Notes Apps of Cambridge Students

Definitely one of the stranger ones (Image Credit: Charlie Scott-Haynes)

Lent term Editor-in-Chief, Katie Thacker asked current Cambridge students to send their most recent note on their phone’s notes app. The results included potential fish names, someone’s Desert Island Discs and of course lots of supervision times.

Among the most common were people keeping a bank of funny/”Oxbridge-y” quotes from their friends and, of course, lots and lots of Mainsbury’s shopping lists.

If you fancy turning your weird and wacky article ideas into a Tab article, applications to join the Tab team as a writer, editor or social media manager are now open until Wednesday 5th January. 

Feature Image Credit: Zac Copeland-Greene