News column: Week seven

You’ll never guess what we found in the River Cam!

If you need any more evidence that time at Cambridge is warped, week seven feels like it’s lasted about seven years, rather than just seven days. In this time, Charles Darwin’s notebooks have been reported stolen, Bridgemas has been and gone and the time has come once again for the Tab’s Best Bum’s competition.

If this isn’t enough excitement to fuel your week seven essay procrastination, read on to find out what’s been going on across Cambridge this week:

Downing student shuts down college Wi-Fi

If you’re sick and tired of Eduroam’s unpredictability, you’re not alone. Last week a student at Downing managed to take down the college’s entire Eduroam circuit after setting up their own Wi-Fi network “Vladimir Routin”. This didn’t lead to a great reception in college, with Downing students having no Wi-Fi for two hours and an urgent college investigation into the suspicious SSID. 

MI5’s next recruit has been found

Trans flag display at Caius

Students flew the Trans pride flag from their bedroom windows this week (Photo credits: Lily Danson)

Town was brightened up with an array of trans pride flags this week as Caius students took to flying the flags out of student windows to mark Trans week of awareness. 

The flag display followed Caius College Council voting against flying the Trans flag, with Lily Danson, LGBT+ Officer at Caius telling the Tab Cambridge: “We wanted to do something to show our solidarity and support for trans students both at Caius and across Cambridge. 

“It was so heartwarming and, ironically, I think we raised more awareness and made a greater impact than if the flag had just been on the flagpole, and we showed College Council how much this matters to us at the same time.”

Foxes’ fate up for debate at Christ’s

We’ve barely recovered from the EU referendum, and Christ’s College are back at it again with another contentious vote; this one regarding the fate of a family of foxes currently residing in the Fellows’ Garden, and wandering into student accommodation, prompting a college-wide consultation into how to respond to these furry friends.  

We love democracy

Students at Christ’s were able to choose between leaving the foxes alone, using a non-toxic fox repellent or “trap and dispatch” whereby “a gun would be used in the event of a fox being caught”. According to sources, Fantastic Mr. Fox is currently drawing up an open letter to college management to uphold the rights of all foxes in Cambridge. 

“Despatch” is a funny way to spell “shoot”

(Lack of) Beef at Jesus

Talking of contentious decisions, Jesus has swapped one kind of beef for another this week. A number of Jesus students are up in arms about the College’s decision to implement a vegetarian day at Caff as part of a drive to reduce their carbon footprint. Some students have claimed it’s unfair to expect students to pay a Kitchen Fixed Charge for food they don’t wish to eat. Whether or not they’ll take inspiration from Churchill’s infamous Monday Steak Club is yet to be seen.

Sunken Scooters

Bon VOIage (credit: Katie Thacker)

Some people in Cambridge are clearly not huge fans of the electric scooters which have sprung up in Cambridge this term. Whilst on our government-sanctioned daily exercise we found one unfortunate scooter in the depths of the River Cam.

 It’s unsure whether this was a deliberate act of anger upon seeing the price of a 10 minute ride, a drunken accident, an experiment into whether electric scooters can in fact float (spoiler alert, the answer is no), or even just a user with exceptionally bad scooting skills. But if it’s the latter we hope you are now safe and dry!

Welfare wine at Jesus

very sucCUTElent photo credits: Hannah Martin

A number of Cambridge colleges have got the memo of week seven exhaustion, taking steps to improve student welfare in the only way colleges seem to know how: providing free food and drink.

Clare College has given students gift boxes with everything from crisps to biscuits, to a mini plant (just to confirm, the latter is not edible.) Meanwhile, Jesus College gave a household who are isolating for the second time this term four bottles of wine, two bottles of juice and a multipack of popcorn, all reportedly from M&S to get through their second 14 day stint. Clearly this isn’t just any isolation, it’s an M&S isolation.  

International Food Festival

After seven weeks of eating pasta, I think we’re all starting to miss the taste of home-cooked food. Luckily for us, the International Student’s Campaign has our back and is running an International Food Festival this week. They’re asking students to send in pictures of their signature dishes from all cultures and backgrounds. With the potential to win delivery vouchers AND eat a nutritious meal this is surely the perfect opportunity to cook something which a) doesn’t involve pesto or b) isn’t cooked in a toastie maker or c) isn’t merely a pot noodle. 

Trip to the Gyp but make it competitive x

That’s all for now! Here’s to hoping that we (and the foxes at Christ’s) make it through week eight for the final news column of term!

Gonville and Caius College have been contacted for comment. 

Feature Image Credits: Ella Fogg