Cambridge’s Best Bum of 2018: THE WINNERS
The cheekiest Cam competition has come to a close
The votes are in.
The public have had their say.
It is time to face the music.
We have found our winner of the best bottom in all of the land (and we added in the runners-up otherwise this article would have been around 40 characters long).
Camilla has officially the best bum in all of Cambridge, winning the vote with a whopping 34.71 per cent (1,357 votes).
Camilla studies English at Trinity, even though her delightful tush is snapped at John's, Bridge of Sighs *sigh sigh sigh if only we had a bottom like Camilla*…
Camilla won a stronger majority than the Tories managed in 2015, who only got 36.9 per cent in the General Election, take that David Cameron! #democratic #derriere.
This certifiable queen definitely has a bottom that would evoke heavy breathing from all of us.
But what we want to know is were there any tourists about in this selfie-hot-spot or morning rowers who caught a glimpse of this Aphrodite of the Arses?!?!?
And coming second we have the cheeky chappies, Barry and Clive.
Two bottoms, in place number two, it was only fair!
These verifiable LADS managed to secure second place with 17.83 per cent (697 votes).
Barry is studying Law at Fitzwilliam, and Clive studies Maths at Churchill.
From the exquisite tan lines, to the perfectly arched backs, to the glorious Cambridge architecture -nd without too much peach fuzz in sight – the boys are certainly not the 'Butt' of any jokes!
And coming home with the bronze medal is Henrietta, who studies Natural Sciences at Homerton.
We can only presume Henrietta was browsing some science book, probably on the solar system, planets in particular – maybe even Uranus!
With 12.61 per cent with 493 votes, Henrietta has come third place and her peach is a firm reminder that the late night library stint doesn't have to be dull.
All in all, there were no Soggy Bottoms in Cambridge.
Our university – and hopefully not any dodgy meme pages – rallied together to focus on the most important question of our lifetime, who has the best bum in Cam??
We all voted and participated in democracy.
And yes, we now have our answer.
But we also have so much more than that too.
We now have invisible arse stains in libraries, in punts, on bridges, that can never be removed physically or emotionally from our hearts.
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