John’s dominates college sport this season
“They hate us ‘cus they ain’t us”
St John’s has been the most successful college in terms of sport this season.
The college has won cuppers for football, rugby, athletics, men’s swimming, as well as the league for rugby.
They are also current tennis cuppers champions and are seeded first in the ongoing competition.
On top of this Johnians made it to the final of mixed hockey and the semi-finals of men’s hockey, women’s hockey and netball cuppers.
On the rugby team’s success, winger/tee-boy Jack Morris said “looking at the cuppers and the league trophies makes me wonder why other colleges try”.
One Johnian rugby player said “not only are we the best at sport, but we also have the most sex, but to be honest the two go hand in hand.”
Some have cited the presence of blues players in John’s football and rugby teams as the reason for their success
In response, flanker/benchwarmer Brock Boyd-Taylor said “it’s about how much you booze, not how many blues.”
In women’s sport Medwards have had a successful season, winning netball cuppers and losing by one goal to Catz in the women’s hockey final.
With such humble and talented sportsmen who would rather be at Oxford than St John’s?