Johnians force freshers to eat urinal cakes in club toilets

Have your urinal cake and eat it.

johns lolol News urinal cakes wankers

A group of older John’s students have been getting kicks out of making drunk freshers eat actual urinal cakes.

The bizarre craze is called the ‘Matriculation Club’, and has been happening with increasing frequency in the toilets of Life and Cindies.


Mmmm. Yummy

The trend started when a second year made a fresher eat a urinal cake on a whim.

Since then, over twenty Johnians have eaten urinal cakes.

The idea of the ‘game’ is that once you’ve eaten a cake, or ‘matriculated’, you join the ‘club’ and are allowed to matriculate others.


Wee shit you not

One second year Johnian who’d refused to eat a cake said:

“I felt disgusted… it’s just a stupid thing to do. It’s essentially soap that’s been saturated with piss. Who the fuck would eat that?”

“They just pick them straight out of the loo and thrust it in your face.”


Once you’ve eaten a cake, ur-ine the gang

Anna Kaye, studying music at Fitz commented, “That sounds utterly vile… but not unexpected from a college like John’s.”

“I mean really. It’s just taking the piss.”

Have you witnessed something like this? Email [email protected]