PILF of the Week – Alfie of The Copper Kettle
Although admittedly “miffed to be third”, notorious local PILF Alfie of The Copper Kettle is only too happy to let you have a gawp
What does it mean to “dress like a PILF”
To dress like a PILF is to avoid everything the Louis Gibson has in his wardrobe.
What is the cheekiest thing you got for free by virtue of being a PILF?
I’ve gained free entry to May Balls in the past, and all down to my brazen PILFhood.
Which celebratory was a PILF in another life / should give up his day job in Hollywood and become a PILF?
At what age does one lose one’s Pilfdom?
Theres no age limit, but working for Scudamores should be enough to bring it all crashing down.
What is a PILF’s favourite movie?
Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas.
How can you tell if a PILF is trying to seduce you?
When you wake up next to him covered in punting tickets.
If dog is a man’s best friend, what is a PILF’s best friend?
His trust tout board.
What is the naughtiest thing you’ve done on a punt.
Oh come on, I’m sure I don’t need to spell it out for you.
Some Tab readers are worried that PILFs are taking over the Tab – what would you say to calm these worries?
Keep clam and go punting.