PILF of the Week – Alfie of The Copper Kettle

Although admittedly “miffed to be third”, notorious local PILF Alfie of The Copper Kettle is only too happy to let you have a gawp

alfie brown appeal Cambridge Flirting PILF pilf of the week punter PUNTING Sex
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A vision in Majorelle blue

What does it mean to “dress like a PILF”

To dress like a PILF is to avoid everything the Louis Gibson has in his wardrobe.

What is the cheekiest thing you got for free by virtue of being a PILF?

I’ve gained free entry to May Balls in the past, and all down to my brazen PILFhood.

Which celebratory was a PILF in another life / should give up his day job in Hollywood and become a PILF?

Jimmy Savile.

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A face that only every single mother in the world would love

At what age does one lose one’s Pilfdom?

Theres no age limit, but working for Scudamores should be enough to bring it all crashing down.

What is a PILF’s favourite movie?

Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas.

How can you tell if a PILF is trying to seduce you?

When you wake up next to him covered in punting tickets.

If dog is a man’s best friend, what is a PILF’s best friend?

His trust tout board.

What is the naughtiest thing you’ve done on a punt.

Oh come on, I’m sure I don’t need to spell it out for you.

This man has been naughty on a punt

Not a PILF to kiss and tell…

Some Tab readers are worried that PILFs are taking over the Tab – what would you say to calm these worries?

Keep clam and go punting.