5 Blind Date Survival Tips

Go somewhere near your college (soz Homer/Girtonians)

This is useful for two reasons. Firstly for escape route purposes –  if you’re unlucky (which let’s face it, most of us are) then you can appreciate your proximity to your college and have a friend ‘accidentally’ bump into you. Secondly if, in the words of Taylor Swift, ‘sparks fly’, then it’s not a horribly walk before you can rip each other’s clothes off.

Contrary to popular belief, not everyone finds love on Blind Date

Choose a restaurant with escape routes

This one’s obvious. You may at some point have to leg it. Dojos is a therefore a clear NoNos, as is anywhere else too tiny to make a quick getaway (boys – watch out for Indigo). The Wagamama’s counter has always looked vaultable and a vat of katsu curry sauce could definitely be somewhere to drown dating sorrows. Equally this comes with a degree of sensitivity. Under no circumstances should you choose somewhere with even vaguely spicy (your date may end up crying unnecessarily – and not even because of you!) or messy food. Basically avoid all curry establishments at all costs.

Don’t dress up

And I do not mean fancy dress. Constructing a suitably casual outfit can alleviate much potential awkwardness. It avoids the necessity of attending/being seen with your date in Cindies, and makes it much easier to pretend that you’re pulling off the nonchalant, effortlessly cool vibe that almost everyone attempts and fails at (unless you’re French – then it’s just your identity).

What NOT to wear x

Think of some original icebreakers

Immediately asking about their subject, for example, could lead to awkward dead ends, especially if it turns out they’re studying something so obscure all you can respond with is ‘OK.’ Opt for something more niche, such as their favorite procrastination activities, the last time they wet themselves, or if they’ve ever been fingered in Life.

Keep Lily in mind

If you begin to get really desperate and the awkward silences are stretching out just too unbearably long then appreciate the RAG deals and just get wasted. (I’d hit the Maypole = £3 cocktail or the Granta = CHEAP WINE). If that fails Lily really provides the best excuses with “Knock ‘Em Out”.