Best Bum Moments

To celebrate/coincide with/resist the cheap thrills of our Best Bum Competition, I’ve picked out five of the best moments in film history that pay homage to the rear end. Be they talking, wiggling or just plain existing, these cheeks go to show that the back bottom represents more than just a quick route to the number one slot in The Tab’s ‘Most Read’ box. So, bums on seats everyone.

The Opening Shot of Lost in Translation

Bill Murray as weary Hollywood star Bob Harris and Scarlett Johansson as lonely newlywed Yale graduate Charlotte make for one of the most romantic pairings in film history here. But before we’ve even met them, Coppola treats us to this absolutely iconic opening shot of Johannson’s derrière, inspired by the paintings of John Kacere. What a great end with which to begin:

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The Baggy Pants Parade in Clueless

This clip literally speaks for itself, so I’ll keep it brief. Alicia Silverstone is at her glorious best here in the part of Beverley Hills High School babe Cher. Beautiful, popular and Calvin-Klein-clad, Cher is woefully disappointed by all the young dudes of Beverley Hills High. These baggy pants have a lot to answer for:

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Marilyn Monroe’s Wiggle in Some Like it Hot

Tony Curtis and Marilyn Monroe’s relationship had apparently reached considerable levels of bitterness by 1958 when this was filmed – so much so that he  later compared kissing her to kissing Hitler. It’s hard to believe. Monroe is simperingly irresistible in this hoot of a film, with a wiggle equalled only since by Mad Men’s Joan:

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The Santa Dance in Jarhead

As uneasy Christmas songs go, this is almost up there with Mean Girls’ Jingle Bell Rock. Very much a guys’ film, Sam Mendes’s grim depiction of a gang of trainee US Marine Corps is full of testosterone, sexual frustration and, inevitably, homoerotica. Jake Gyllenhaal trained for months to play this role, but it isn’t until this unsettling scene of drunken Christmas cheer that we get a peak at his fine heiney:

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Ace’s Talking Bum in Ace Ventura

It’s not uncommon for Hollywood actors to talk out of their arses, but Jim Carrey as Pet Detective Ace Ventura takes this to new levels. On the hunt for the Miami Dolphins’ prize mascot, Ace gives the cops a moment with his own blowhole. In fact, Ace has a bit of a thing about posteriors: in the sequel he is shat out of a robotic rhino.

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So there you have it, my five top film bottoms. You’ll notice that even in this meagre representation of film, the male bums are often a source of comedy; the female of sex appeal. All I can say is that I tried, Tabbers, I really tried, to avoid this. But there’s a paucity of examples that buck this trend. Silly really.

Happy Bum Week, everyone.