Uni Proctor Flips After Being Floured

Today, outside a third year physics exam at the Guidhall, over-exuberant students inadvertently threw flour and Cava over a University Proctor.

In typical Cantab manner, a female student celebrated her friend’s final exam by showering him in cheap Cava and flour.

However, things bubbled over when some of the flour landed on the Proctor’s Gown and Mortar Board.

Proctors now have body guards with spears for protection

This prompted the irate Proctor’s cork to pop. He then publicly and aggressively lectured the offending student.

This news comes just after every Cambridge student was sent an email entitled ‘Urgent Message from Senior Proctor’. The email complained of the nuisance caused by post-exam celebrations, including:

The usual choice

“noise; blocked roads/pavements; sticky and filthy residues left for someone else to clear up; clothes, cars and entrances and windows to buildings to be cleaned; bikes too sticky to use to get home”

The proctor continued by saying, “Neither the staff who run the exams for you, nor the general public, should be treated like this.”

There are further reports of students celebrating in style with £42 Bollinger, rather than the bog-standard £5 Basics Cava.

A 28 year-old mum and Cambridge local reported: “I saw at least 10 students with Bollinger and more with cheaper fizzy wine and Cava.

“Maybe Bollinger was on special offer as they were all going mad for it. They were pretty rowdy.”

Reports as to whether or not there will be a wide-scale University crackdown on other innocent forms of fun are, as of yet, unconfirmed.