Pembroke June Event

HARRY SHUKMAN is happy with Pembroke June Event, excluding the verbal abuse from the sexy Jägermeister mistresses.

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Pembroke June Event

20th June 2012, £65

It’s hard to review a June Event and even harder to review one at your own college.

On Wednesday I went to El Dorado at Pembroke, and I had a blast. I could well be writing this to avoid becoming a social pariah at my own college or with the committee’s hand on my shoulder, but I’m honestly finding it tough to find much fault with this June Event.

Pembroke isn’t the largest college, nor is it the richest, but for £65 it had absurd value for money and slick organization to rival the big boys.

The night began queuing around Old Court to get inside. Queues aren’t fun at all, but luckily there were chocolate coins to pick up and two adorable alpacas to keep spirits high while waiting. They were much more friendly than last year’s birds of prey that flew off to hassle nearby pigeons.

On eventually getting in, chilled cava and oysters shucked while-u-wait were an immediate priority. Pembroke was the last event in my May Week this year, and I was determined to get as much out of it as possible. This meant foolishly thinking that a ride on the spinny Meteorite ride with several erections’ worth of oysters and several breakups’ worth of waffles in me would be a good idea. Not so much.

Walking off a very near-chunder, we were amazed by what the committee had achieved with this year’s limited budget. There were all the trimmings of a regular May Ball; food ranging from Argentinean barbecue to hog-roasts, drinks from mojitos to G&Ts, and activities to keep Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly occupied for a long while.

And I never had to queue for all of these, except for the Jägerbomb stand. That was a lower moment for me. I’m still not sure how, but the intimidatingly attractive waitresses serving Jägermeister thought my evening would be enriched by ridiculing my general appearance without provocation. I didn’t get it either. I maturely and thoughtfully responded by stealing labelled shot glasses, badges and specs.

As for acts, I wasn’t sure what to expect on arriving. I’d never heard either of the two main events Two Spot Gobi or Round Table Knights before, but they both gave stunning performances. A special mention has to go to Two Spot Gobi who interrupted their set-list for an audience request. They burst into a sensational rendition of one of the greatest songs of all time.

A cheap shot could be made at the loose interpretation of El Dorado being anything vaguely Central or South American in theme. That said, I attended Illusion at Emma and Revelry at Jesus this week, and both were fairly imaginative with what that really meant.

El Dorado was a big hit in terms of style and substance. By the time the survivors’ snapshot was taken at 5am, I felt that this June Event could have passed for a full May Ball. And I’m saying that without the threat of a bag of flaming shit being launched through my window by an enraged June Event committee member.

Food and drink:


Wow factor:


Value for money:


Star attraction:

Two Spot Gobi

Biggest turn off:

Derisive Jägermeister waitresses