Haggis Hysteria

LEAF ARBUTHNOT adds some excitement to your Burns Night…

Burns Night butcher cheese chutney eggs farmer haggis omlette pan pastry Scotland scramble thyme toast

Whilst scouting the Internet for Burns Night haggis recipes, I happily stumbled across a Scottish slang website.

Now, when I next go to Fife and am abused by hoodlums, I will be able to breezily retort: “Hinka cumfae cashore canfeh? Ahl hityi oar hied ’caw taughtie”. As in, “Do you think just because I come from Carronshore I cannot fight? I shall hit you over the head with a cold potato”.

As a half-Scot, I must celebrate Burns Night or face accusations of mudbloodery. The trouble is, the festival’s gastronomic centre of gravity – haggis – doesn’t much appeal. If I could get my hands on a straight-talking, heavy-duty legit-lung-and-liver haggis, sculpted by a butcher/farmer who does oat and suet producing on the side, then my darling buds of taste would probably not object. But all I have is the cheapo Sainsburys pack.

However! After perilous experimentation and much surfing, I have discovered that haggis can be delicious. Well, at least, not bad. Here are three recipes to pimp your haggis from hag to hottie. Or something.


Mix 2 wee eggs and grated cheese with crumbled, already-cooked haggis. Salt-and-pepperfy. Slide some beurre in to a pan. Scramble.


Haggis present

Make a patty out of already-cooked haggis and lie it on top of a thin square of ready-rolled puff pastry. Add chutney and thyme. Gather the four sides and pull upwards, to make a parcel. Brush with oil/butter/egg, and blitz in the oven for twenty minutes.

Why not pop it into your friend’s pigeon hole?

Haggeese on toast

Toast some bread. Chuck on some cheese. Sprinkle on some cooked haggis.

Can’t get breader than that!

No idea what Burns Night is? READ The Tab’s guide to the event HERE.