To Juice or not To Juice? DIY Detox

Heading back to Cambridge a week early should be the perfect time to do a bit of work.  However, after literally rolling back to college and with nothing better to do,  Amy Bennett and Jenny Schofield give detox dieting a go.

Take a 10 year old, £1.99 book from Oxfam, a blender and a fridge crammed with fruit and veg kindly donated by the parents and you’re set for the ‘3-Day Juice Master’s Detox Diet.’ It promises a 5lb weight loss in 3 days, wish us luck…

Day 1

Upon waking:  Drink hot water and lemon to speed up metabolism

Breakfast: Detox Special

Lunch: Detox Special

Linner: H20 Detox

Dinner: Beyond Detox

Amy – Jenny hadn’t yet surfaced by 9 so I had to tackle the first juice alone.  Very quickly I realised we had a big problem.  Handheld blenders do not count as juicers. Energetically bashing the uncooperative carrots our cleaner popped her head around the door, very confused.  Sorry Debs, it does sound a lot like a chainsaw.   Though I had to eat it with a spoon, I did enjoy my baby food.

Jenny – As a Geography and Education student, I stayed true to my term time ways and lay in until just before midday.  Lunch was an interesting experience.

Amy – I went to bed surprised I wasn’t feeling hungry or tired.

Jenny – The book promises invigoration, energy and sharpness. Liars. I went to bed with my stomach growling, and spent over an hour on foodporndaily.com. I dribbled. A bit of dribble genuinely came out of the left side of my mouth.

Day 2

Amy – Breakfast was a very tasty smoothie; natural yogurt, blueberries, blackberries and pineapple, delicious by anyone’s standards.  Lunch was a strange radioactive green but tasted zingy and fresh.  I’m quite enjoying this.

Jenny – Towards the end of the evening I decided (God knows why) to follow my mum’s advice and eat a few prunes, as they’re supposed to slightly enhance the effect of a detox diet.  I then found online that 3-5 is adequate to ‘inspire’ bowel movements. I had eaten 12. Shit.

Day 3

Jenny – Both of us slept through breakfast (even the NatSci) but on the plus side both woke up feeling thinner! And surprisingly not that hungry!

Amy – We had planned to have lunch with friends in town and so were forced to make and take our creations to Pret.  Cringe.  I added some water to mine in the hope that I would actually be able to drink it… wishful thinking.  Jen resorted to a spoon and, having initially mocked her, after awkward tipping, leaning and spilling frankly poo coloured juice over my cords I quickly followed suit.  To add insult to injury Jen was told she looked thinner.  I wasn’t.

Jenny – I feel like I’ve developed some sort of eating disorder.  I can’t stay away from foodporndaily and I’ve spent most of the day deciding exactly what I’m going to eat tomorrow. God I’m so excited about solid food, and salt, and artificial flavours. I really want a Frankfurter sausage, or a pork pie.

Amy – It’s not the most social of diets and you do have to wee a lot but I would recommend a 3 day juice detox. Maybe it’s because I’m vegetarian.  Note: Do try to choose a juice buddy who a) doesn’t complain 24/7 and b) doesn’t lose weight faster than you.

Jenny – I do actually feel like I have lost weight. My tummy is undeniably flatter, and Jesus Christ the cheekbones are starting to make a break for it (when your face resembles that of a 12-year old, this is a very very joyful prospect).  I’ve loaded an episode of ‘Jamie at Home’ on iplayer, and have a bacon, tomato and egg mayo baguette on a plate in front of me.  Loving life 2K12.

Why not try it yourself? See Recipes below for your very own Juice Detox.

Detox Special 

• 2 apples
• 1 carrot
• 1 slice of lemon with rind on
• ¼ yellow bell pepper
• 1 inch slice cucumber
• ¼ piece of celery
• 1 inch broccoli stem
• 1 inch slice raw beetroot
• ice

Dreamy Detox 

• 2 apples
• 1 slice of lemon with rind on
• 1 inch slice cucumber
• 1 stick of celery
• 1 inch piece of fresh ginger
• ice