Battleship Bob Sunk

In the latest development in the ASBO swan saga, ‘Battleship Bob’ has landed a hefty £7,000 fine for his attempt to disrupt last year’s May Bumps.

Houseboat-owner Battleship Bob, whose real name is Robin Middleton, blocked The Cam during May Bumps by anchoring his 72ft boat across it for three hours. This was part of a “peaceful protest” against the endangering of swans.

However, the protest wasn’t quite as peaceful as Bob claims. Mr ASBO’s biggest fan, who has previously defended the swan against various accusations of ongoing aggression towards Cambridge boaties, reportedly challenged a rower to a cage fight after he objected to the positioning of the boat.

But his plan backfired, as Cambridge Magistrates Court found out that he deliberately intended to disrupt the races. This was the fourth in a string of offences against rowers in the name of swan protection.

Struggling to stay afloat (© Cambridge News/MASON’S)

District Judge Sheraton condemned the “unsociable” behaviour of Battleship Bob, who now seems to be rivalling his favourite swan for the title of most anti-social river-user. Battleship Bob now faces £6,871.65 in court costs, and intends to appeal the decision.

Bob has turned to Mr ASBO’s Facebook page to vent his anger: “went too [sic] court tuesday for my peaceful protest last year and got fine … thats wot [sic] you call justis [sic]…the war is on …..”

Henry Charrington, captain of the Lady Margaret Boat Club, told The Tab: “£7,000 seems excessive as bumps still went ahead, but it should – at least – deter him from doing it again. Or at least I hope so.”

He also explained that the environmental damage boaties cause has been overplayed: “Frankly, there is minimal, if any, environmental impact from boat races. Certainly not if you compare it to the junk that is polluted into the river by barges.

“Bob is attention seeking over the whole thing, and it just serves to disrupt otherwise fairly harmonious relationships on the river.”