DVD Round Up: Battle of the Cool

Our suggestions for a lads night in continues with three films cooler than an eskimo gang bang.

DVD Film Infernal Affairs Lads Matrix Reservoir Dogs Tarantino

Continuing the series of “Best films for a lad night in”, I present to you a three way battle between three of the coolest films ever made and try to determine which is best: The Matrix, Infernal Affairs and Reservoir Dogs. All three are swathed in a cloak of hipness and some stylised violence, but which one comes out on top?

The Matrix

Tapping into two of the greatest things in life, computer games and superpowers, the first Matrix film is probably the ultimate computer nerd’s action fantasy. An alternate reality in which hot women prance around in lycra, where computer programmers have an almighty sense of power and the ability to turn yourself into an amazing fighting machine by downloading add ons, the Wachowski brothers certainly knew how to aim for a target market. Fortunately for the rest of us, it also provided some of the most unbelievably stylish shoot outs and punch ups conceived, particularly Neo’s bullet dodging antics on the roof mimicked by basically everyone. But still, it’s hard to escape the feeling that when watching it that the people most enjoying it are twats sitting around on 4chan, wanking off over that time they shut down YouTube and that leaves a slightly bitter taste in my mouth. A great film and has moments of undeniable cool, but is it just slightly too nerdy?

Shades Rating: 3 out of 5

Infernal Affairs

A little bit from the left field this one, but this Hong Kong based thriller drips with panache and style. Violence is relatively thin on the ground, but tension is rife throughout as two moles that’ve been with the mob and the police since their youth get closer and closer to being caught as they clamber up the ladder of the organisations into senior roles. Will they get found? Will they crack? And at what length will the only people who know the truth go to stop them being found out? Yes, there isn’t a huge amount of violence and subtitles are required to understand what’s happening, but it’s worth it for a film that has a dazzling slick presentation, tension by the bucket loads and a plotline with some lovely symmetry and some genuine twists and turns. It’s cool, a bit brainy and fulfilling. Good stuff.

Shades Rating: 4 out of 5

Reservoir Dogs

I could have chosen Pulp Fiction but in my opinion this is far, far cooler. Bank heists are cool. Aliases are also cool. And most surprisingly of all, torture to funky music turns out to be cool too. The suited anti-heroes in Tarantino’s first film confirm why he remains one of the few directors able to actually make you go “sicccccckkkkkkk” while watching his new release. There’s mystery, there’s suspense, there’s cool sunglasses and tons of gore and as a result it’s pretty damn awesome.  The only problem I can find with the film is that the coolest moment of this absolute cool fest happens in the main credits, but that’s only because the slow-mo walk to “Little Green Man” is pretty much the wet dream of ultimate cool. This film has been assembled entirely out of cool from the costumes to the reel they used to bloody record it. To conclude, it’s fucking cool!!!!!

Shades Rating: 10000000000 out of 5

Reservoir dogs wins then because it’s Reservoir Dogs. But still, if you get a chance to see Infernal Affairs go for it as it’s a bit of a gem and if you haven’t seen the Matrix where the hell have you been the past ten years?