Boaties attacked by ‘Asbo’ swan

Boaties have been given more to worry about than bumping, breaking a rigger or catching a crab this term, as a ROGUE SWAN has descended on the Cam.

Nicknamed Mr Asbo, the swan has been causing a stir among towns and gowns alike.

A Facebook appreciation page for Mr Asbo goes as far as to say that he is “bigger than swine flu. There is no vaccine.”

Mr Asbo has been universally feared by boaties daring to go past its Ditton Corner nest, as it has been known to attack boats of 8 people. It also seems to have a particular taste for coxes.

A strange new practice of going on a “pilgrimage” to Mr Asbo has been seen in some colleges, as this is seen to calm its temper.

Many have criticised the law for favouring the Asbo too heavily, as a fine of up to £5000 could be charged to any who harm him.

However, others have suggested that boaties have been too harsh about the controversial swan, as it may only have been defending its cygnets.

Colin Sparkes of Cambridge Conservators pointed out that “Swans have very poor eye sight and lots of the boats are white so he is probably mistaking them for other swans.”

Though Johnians faced outrage as it emerged that they were considering EATING Mr Asbo in formal hall, a right given only to the Queen and to Johnian fellows, it has since emerged that these rumours were untrue.