Which supermarket caterpillar cake is your Bristol Uni halls of residence?
We all know Wills is Cecil from Waitrose
Over the past week Twitter has been taken over by the feud between Aldi and M&S and their caterpillar cakes. I’m frankly more invested in this drama than I am in my degree.
The Bristol Tab has worked out what each Bristol Uni halls of residences would be if they were caterpillar cakes. Scroll down to find out.
Hiatt Baker – Colin the Caterpillar, M&S
It seems only fitting that Bristol’s most infamous halls should be the most infamous caterpillar cake. You can always rely on an M&S cake to deliver at a birthday party in the same way you can always rely on Hiatt Baker girls wearing flares and air force. Colin is the ultimate BNOC.
Badock – Morris the Caterpillar, Morrison’s
This is simply because the huge eyes bear striking resemblance to a Badock residents pupils on a Friday night. Or any night for that matter.
Wills – Cecil the Caterpillar, Waitrose
Was there ever any other option for Wills. Wills residents are always unashamedly posh and devoted to Waitrose. Cecil the Caterpillar would be at a birthday party with smoked salmon blinis and Moët on tap. If this cake was a person, he’d have a mullet and a signet ring.
Churchill – Connie the Caterpillar, M&S
Churchill has a reputation for being rather posh and you would definitely expect to see a Churchill student doing their weekly shop at M&S. However, they just don’t match Hiatt Baker’s reputation. For that reason they take M&S’s second best caterpillar cake. So close yet so far Churchill.
University Hall – Cuthbert the Caterpillar, Aldi
It may not be the high end caterpillar cake like Colin and Connie but that doesn’t make it bad. Much like Aldi, UH know that they’re budget and basic and they don’t apologise for it.
— Aldi Stores UK (@AldiUK) April 16, 2021
Durdham – Wiggles the caterpillar, Sainsbury’s
Like Sainsbury’s missed the memo with the alliteration, Durdham students missed the memo that they chose the worst Stoke Bishop accommodation. Like all the other supermarkets knew their caterpillar needed a name beginning with C, we all knew about Deadham’s reputation but let’s not make them feel too bad about themselves.
City Centre – Curious Caterpillar Cake, Co-op
This caterpillar is so irrelevant it doesn’t even have a name. Much like City Centre halls who are often grouped together because no one really cares about them. These halls are a curious concept to Stoke Bishop students who can’t understand why anyone wouldn’t want to live in Bristol’s best accommodation.
Goldney – Curly the Caterpillar, Tesco
There’s nothing startingly awful about Goldney in the same way there’s nothing bad to say about Curly. Tesco is a very non-offensive supermarket and its hard to find fault with Curly. Well done Goldney, you’re officially the most average accommodation.