What would Kanye West do as a Brum student?

Cause absolute chaos?

birmingham tab hate kanye west love the tab brum

He’d completely own Friday nights at the lounge

Even if you are not part of the Kanye nation you would still do anything to go and see Kanye at The Lounge. He’d hide Willy Wonka style Lounge tickets all over Selly – probably lending a couple to his Mason flatmates. Then the lucky few will enjoy a Glastonbury worthy gig. With the new TLOP album out, and of course the classics (Stronger, Power, Gold Digger) he would get students giddy. Forget circular pool, the place would be buzzing. After his 5 hour show he’d host a 24 hour pres in his Solihull mansion, then buy out fab for the night, legendary.  Oh and he’d kill it at Vale fest – He’d colab with some of Selly’s finest unsigned acts.

He’d make his own merch shop at Go Central

I’m talking hats, jumpers, bags, lunch boxes, posters, cards and Kanye bobble heads on top of Old Joe. What about the shop name, a toss up between ‘Bound 2 Bargains’ and ‘Change Digger’. The financial impact would lead the uni of Brum to build an honorary statue for Kanye. They would also start offering degrees run by the man himself, such as ‘lyrical genius’ ‘creative genius’ and of course ‘How to avoid TMZ’.

He’d preach in the CU tent

And I would go….Kanye after becoming a dad has been calmer and more interesting. The days of claiming to be a God, ruining Taylor Swift speeches and announcing to the world that he outranks Shakespeare lyrically are over. He’d talk about reforming UOB and helping the disadvantage students……Oh and he’d get a standing ovation.

He’d stand under Old Joe at the hour mark

Kanye would probably do a 24 hour stunt of non-stop rapping under Old Joe, as a protest against UOB regime. He’d be breaking UOB barriers left, right and center, he’d have lunch in the staff house, he’d take out hundreds of library books and he’d drive around campus, I’m thinking hoverboard.

He’d get any slot on BurnFM

Yeezy would go against the ‘No Swearing’ BurnFM policy, the ‘No discussing the Guild’ policy, the ‘No promoting’ policy and the ‘Play a song from each artist only once’ policy. Lets be honest after playing all of his own work he’d move onto the likes of Kendrick, Chance the Rapper and Jay Z. In between songs he’d complain about the Guilds slavery on societies, tell us about his deity features, then promote his new shop. He’d also make an appearance at Hip Hop society, probably every week.

He’d totally own Guild Elections

‘The Life of Fablo’ campaign would take the entire uni by storm. The first stunt – obviously a long speech about why he would be the best on top of Old Joe with a megaphone, or a helicopter. I think he’d take Presidency and a couple of other positions for a laugh – sorry Bean.

Saying all that, he’d drop out anyway…