The best bit about guild elections is when it rains

Because we’re terrible people

campaign candidates democracy elections guild guild of students no president rain selly selly oak the tab birmingham the tab brum yes

If you’ve been on campus at all during the past week, you’ll have no doubt seen some of the many posters, banners and fancifully painted pieces of wood scattered around displaying people’s names and asking you to vote. That’s right, it’s the annual name-based pun competition, with the winners joining the Guild Officer Team. While this does mean free food from campaigners and getting to watch people campaigning for serious change in the university whilst wearing onesies and costumes, without a doubt the best bit of the week is when it rains.

No thanks

This might seem odd at first, how can poor weather possibly be the best bit? How can it beat being given free sweets in exchange for your vote? Let me answer these questions by comparing the election race to this short anecdote…

A toddler throws a ball for her dog to chase, while still holding the lead. The dog runs off, pulling the lead and she instantly falls over and cries out. This is one of those times where you know you’re a terrible person for laughing, after all she smacks her face on the ground and probably gets hurt, yet you just can’t help but laugh.

It’s her own fault though, she was the one that threw the ball for the dog, she could have let go of the lead and it would have been avoided, yet she didn’t think to and because of that she got hurt.

This is exactly the same kind of thing that happens when it rains around election time.

Look around campus at the banners that have been put up – the candidates have clearly tried so hard and put so much effort into making them look nice, yet the moment they get wet the paint runs and they get ruined. They could have seen it coming, they could have planned for this eventuality, but they didn’t and now all their hard work is destroyed. It’s horrible and crushing, seeing something that has taken so much time literally disintegrate before your eyes.

To be honest though, for us lot, watching it happen across the whole of campus is quite simply brilliant. Of course you’re a terrible person for enjoying it, but the schadenfreude is just too much – we’re at a top Russell Group university, these people are the academic elite and yet are beaten by a little rain. Wow.

Poor guy

Soggy cardboard, running paint and blown over billboards are a common sight this week from candidates who didn’t think about what British weather is like in March. All this means it creates the most exciting part of the election process because, let’s face it, hardly anyone will vote anyway. Are these really the kind of people we want in charge? Want me to vote for you? Make your signs waterproof. I’m sure lots of people will agree…