We did a night out with the cricket team and it was insane

Sticky wicket much?

cricket Fresher night out pissed

It may have taken me three years, but I have finally been to my first sports night: my chance to relive the glory days of freshers.

The pinnacle of many of our weeks is spent on a Wednesday night at The Guild, dressed in whatever flamboyant costume we can straggle together, clutching as many VKs as we possibly can – and after failing to get into the football team as a fresher, I had resigned myself to these usual shitty nights out that Brum has to offer.

And so recently, I joined up with the cricket club, purely as a social member. I’ll be honest, I haven’t got a clue about cricket. Frankly it’s boring, and even when you win I’m pretty sure you’re still losing. However, I was still keen to finally give it a go and so I agreed to attend the first cricket social of the year as a fresher – even though I’m in final year.

The move into the priesthood was clearly once a popular option

The move into the priesthood was clearly once a popular option

Admittedly, I was very reluctant for two key reasons: firstly, the theme was “what you want to be when you grow up” and no matter how desperate I got, an aspiring sports journalist was not a costume I could work. Secondly, I was very conscious of how old I would be in comparison to my fellow inductees. It had only been two years since I was in their shoes, yet  it was only last week I had been so painfully aware of the age gap present in Stupid Tuesdays.

After deciding to bite the bullet and commit to being a full-kit wanker dressed as my idol Joe Cole, I headed to the Duck and Scholar for the start of the evening. I grabbed a drink from the melee at the bar and was instantly forced to sit down with the rest of the freshers. The smell of naivety and Lynx Africa clouded the air like a thick smog, although there was a general buzz of excitement amid my new found pals.

The nerves of addressing a crowd clearly got to some, who instead relied on Dutch courage

The nerves of addressing a crowd clearly got to some, who instead relied on Dutch courage

As with every new seminar you have to face, there was a traditional awkward “introduce yourself” process as a way of integrating the seniors and the freshers. There was, of course, a snag to this seemingly simple meet and greet. Freshers were made to stand in front of the social secs as well as the rest of the club and reveal one story about themselves alongside a sexual fantasy they held.

As you can imagine, the range of stories was incredible: from the downright incredulous (holiday tattoos on your arse) to scenes one would expect to see in a rather more explicit context (those that lied about who they had sex with and how to seem cool – you know who you are lads).

My view from the decidedly sticky floor of the Duck & Schloar

My view from the decidedly sticky floor of the Duck & Scholar

Upon completing the rounds, the classic UBCC chants came along and it was needless to say by the end, everyone knew who we were and where we came from. With the drinks flowing and the beer jackets well and truly fastened, we headed to the Guild.

Upon arrival, I’ll admit I was impressed. There were throngs of students from all years dressed in the most garish outfits you could possibly imagine, the smell of Frosty Jack’s lingering like death at an old people’s home, it was all exactly how I had imagined and more.

Absolutely Sergio Ramos

Absolute Sergio Ramos

For those of you with many sports nights ahead of you, I am envious. It was honestly such a fun night and I do feel a slight tinge of regret having not been able to do more throughout my time as a student here. My heavy workload will undoubtedly catch up with me as a third year so my appearances will unfortunately be limited, although not for the lack of trying.

Special mention must go to UBCC for allowing me to participate (even though I still don’t know the difference between a googly and a gully) and also to the Duck and Scholar for hosting the start of the evening. The cricket lads were great fun, best of luck in the future with all your matches.

Is your team more fun? Email [email protected] and we’ll join you for sports night.