Don’t You Mean Pimp My Ride?

The Tab: Who are Pimp My Side?

Adam: We’re a group of mates who play 6-a-side football together on a Wednesday afternoon.

Can you tell us a little bit about each player?

Well, i’m our player/manager…not that there’s much managing to be done because the lads don’t really tend to listen

Our Captain, he thinks he’s on the same level as Roy Keane but in reality he’s no more than a poor man’s Titus Bramble.

 

Our resident Geordie, top scorer so far this season with 18 goals, strange similarity to Tal Ben Haim.

Joe is perhaps the calmest man on the pitch, has scored a few worldies and hit the bar from the halfway line once.

Adam’s first contribution to our season was to foul an opposition player before he’d really touched the ball himself.

Bradley is definitely the team member with the most tricks up his sleeve, although he’s definitely prone to the odd backheel in his own half much to the rest of our dismay.

Tom’s been referred to by other teams as Victor Valdes. Our rock at the back.

Named small eyes due to his poor eyesight, Matt doesn’t like to stick to one position and loves to wander around the pitch.

Most importantly, who’s the biggest ‘lad’ on the team?

Definitely Adam ‘The Chiropractor’ Grantham.

Who’s the worst in front of goal?

Tom Milnes, he should probably take up rugby.

Best dancer?

Joe Lyford, he’s so smooth you can’t see him.

Most reliable on the pitch?

Tom ‘Victor Valdes’ Kilsby. However, I hope he doesn’t read this or his ego will be unbearable.

Best piece of kit?

Liam McFarlane’s 13-14 year old boys Tottenham shirt which he insists on wearing despite being a Geordie.

Miss of the season?

Too many to mention. . .

Best Social?

Halloween. We went out dressed as slutty cats to take the piss out of all the girls who dress up as them on Halloween and we somehow picked up the nickname the ‘Sexy Kittens’. Not sure if that’s a good or a bad thing though…

What’s the teams biggest weakness?

Ridiculous lack of consistency.

Drama queen of the team?

Matt ‘Small Eyes’ Holloway.

Hopes for the season?

Top four finish and qualification for the finals.

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