The five stages of standing in the Union Street taxi queue
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‘Twas the night before your 9am tutorial, and after hours of embarrassing behaviour at the club you deserve a rest, don’t you? The Union Street taxi rank disagrees. We've discovered the five distinct stages of waiting in the notorious Aberdeen taxi queue and we're here to share them with you.
Stage One: Denial
Surely the entire population of Aberdeen wasn’t out tonight? Turns out they were, and they all want a taxi! It’s baltic and you would rather die than stand outdoors for any length of time. The sad energy is very much present.
Stage Two: Should We Just Walk?
99% of the time this is an awful idea. You are so reeking you might drop dead. The lure of Thain's is calling you to trek back to your Kittybrewster flat instead of sticking it out. If you aren’t religious this is the stage you convert and pray for the queue to move quickly.
Stage Three: Acceptance
You’re halfway there! This stage usually involves selfie taking/singing/spewing to kill time. It might be 4am but you’re confident you and your pals will make it – despite the fact you all have pneumonia. At least you have some new taxi queue pals that you'll 100% see again, right?
Stage Four: The Final Push
A trying time – tensions are high. Everyone thinks they are more worthy of a taxi than you. Even the seagulls, ever eager to steal your scran. The Katniss Everdeen in you is alive and this is the 75th annual hunger games (with less bloodshed and more McNuggets)
Stage Five: VICTORY
As the taxi doors slide to a close, you are the warmest you have ever been. It's at this stage you realise the middle aged Aberdonian man driving you home is your soulmate. The SRAs are delighted to greet you at the Hillhead barrier – anyone for afters?
Congratulations baby, you made it and we’re doing it all again tomorrow x