If you’re given any of these Valentine’s Day presents, you’re dating a walking red flag

Valentine’s Day is in under 24 hours. And people tend to consider February 14 as one of three things: an opportunity to be unbearably cute, a heart-covered celebration of consumerism, or a big fat disappointment, tied up in a bow.

“While many know Valentine’s Day as a day of love and affection, it also signifies the end of cuffing season,” explains dating expert Hayley Quinn. “If you’ve made it through cuffing season and are no longer hibernating, Valentine’s Day can be a good indicator on just how compatible you really are.” 

Obviously, your V-Day expectations differ depending on how extra you are as a couple. But no matter the context, some gifts are simply just glaring red flags. So, in case you’re wondering if it’s time you let go of your relationship, here are all the Valentine’s Day presents that mean you’ve got a break up on your hands:

A last minute rosé and condoms delivery

I hate to be the bearer of bad news but if your date is ordering in rosé and discount condoms as their only Valentine’s Day contribution they’re simply not the one. This has required maximum eight taps on their phone screen and a trip to the front door to secure. 0/10 for creativity and effort. Take the wine and go.

A splash blanket

This blanket can hold up to a litre of liquid and is designed for bodily fluids. Yup, it’s a throw for your bedroom so nobody has to sleep in the wet patch in the middle of the bed. It’s practical but horrifying. And not what you want when you’ve asked for flowers.

Romantic loo roll

I regret to inform you this gift was actually given to my uni housemate in first year. Valentine’s Day came around, she excitedly opened her present and internally rolled her eyes. Because, it doesn’t matter if you love stupid slogans or they ordered it in from Etsy especially— toilet roll is not romantic. I can’t believe I actually just had to type that. We all know better.

M&S Love Sausage

Why is this bendy sausage wrapped around egg so disconcerting? Every year when it comes back on the shelves in M&S it literally terrifies half the nation. And yet, people are buying it. Don’t let your boyfriend be one of them.

Nothing

A £1.50 card, ingredients for dinner, petrol station flowers— any of these things are actually acceptable Valentine’s Day gifts if you like to keep things chill or haven’t been together that long. But nothing at all? Evil. Not allowed. Get in the bin. Take your empty hands and see yourself out.

Should I actually break up with someone if they mess up Valentine’s Day?

To start the answer to this question off with a slightly horrifying statistic, more than half of British people (52 per cent) say they aren’t actually sure if their partner is the one, according to new research from Just Eat. So, if the person you’re with isn’t making you happy, especially on Valentine’s Day, it could be a good idea to cut the uncertainty and get rid.

“Just because it’s Valentine’s Day, doesn’t mean you have to plan a date, but if it’s important to you, it should also be important to your other half,” says Hayley Quinn. “It’s not so much that your partner needs to plan a grand gesture for Valentine’s Day, but more that they’ll know exactly what the right date is for you at that moment.

“It’s important to also be honest with yourself and the way you feel,” she adds. “Being in a relationship with someone you don’t see a future with, or someone who is just not your type on paper, is wasting both your time and your partner’s time. There is never a good time to dump someone, but prolonging your agony won’t help either.” 

So, Love Sausage or not, just be honest with yourself x

Related stories recommended by this writer:

• If you see any of these items in a boy’s room, leave immediately

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• If you see any of these items in a boy’s bathroom, run and never look back