Why the library during exam season feels like psychological warfare

With deadline season already upon us and exam season approaching, some, if not all, of us turn to the library to study and lock in. While the library is often known for looking more like a fashion-show catwalk, it can, and often does, turn into a psychological warzone during exam season. We asked some unsuspecting library-warriors for their opps on the library and this is our completed review. You wouldn’t read anything half as good on Trustpilot, believe me!

The Hunger Games: UofG library edition

via Wikipedia Commons

Finding a seat isn’t just a chore; it’s a full-time, unpaid internship with zero benefits. You start at the top floor with hope in your heart and end up in the cafeteria three hours later, weeping.

One shattered student commented: “Couple of times I started from the 11th floor and went all the way down to the fourth without finding a seat, so I defeatedly ended up on the third floor.”

One ragey student claimed: “Top tier rage bait is people leaving their jotters on a desk to save a seat then f*cking off for ages (I partake).”

The silent floors are never actually silent

The “Silent Floor” is a lie. The levels tend to be anything and everything except silent.

If it’s not your own brain screaming at you about your 12 deadlines, it’s the “yap groups”. They sit down, announce loudly that they “REALLY NEED TO LOCK IN”, and then proceed to spend the next four hours discussing their weekend plans at 60 decibels. Freshers, we know its you. You’re giving yourselves a bad rep!

If ‘locking in’ actually involved opening a book instead of a three-course debrief on last night’s HIVE antics, we’d all have first-class degrees by now.

People do everything except study

Between people trying to turn it into date night, overheard relationship debriefs, students somehow finding the time to play Roblox instead of revising, and even engineering students reportedly playing football on level five, it is genuinely impressive how little locking in some people manage to do once they get there.

One bemused student reports having heard a bunch of guys having locker-room chat, talking about all the girls they think they could get. All I can say is good luck fellas x

Some people have basically moved in

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There is always one person who hasn’t seen sunlight since February. They don’t just have a macbook; they have an entire ecosystem.

One disheveled student told us: “There was this person and istg they had their entire flat in the library. They had extra keyboards, another screen (along with the library monitor), couple of coffee mugs, a throw, cushion and a lot of snacks. I was very impressed and awestruck lol.”

Lets leave the heated blankie at home, we don’t need emotional support all the time.

Another fed-up student complained: “one thing I see in the library is a ton of sick people. they will go on quiet floors and hack for HOURS when I am trying to do work. I am so happy they are getting that grind in but damn rest up”.

Nothing says exam stress like trying to memorise equations while the person next to you sounds like they’re a Victorian-era patient zero.

The facilities are actively gaslighting you

Even if you win the lottery and find a seat, the building itself wants you to fail.

One disgruntled student shared: “Worst thing is when you finally find a seat but its broken. So it always sinks to the lowest position.”

Another equally disgruntled student added: “I also cannot stand when chairs are squeaky on silent floors. If I happen to get a squeaky chair, I just leave. It’s that painful”.

By exam season, everyone is slightly unhinged

An anonymous third year student described ending up at a table with someone two seats away who kept banging the table every once in a while, making the whole thing tremble, while also talking loudly to themselves, which really does sum up the library during exam season. Revision makes us all go crazy but not this crazy. That is too damn crazy.

So, don’t be surprised if you see someone weeping over a spilled vending machine coffee on level four while their chair slowly sinks into the floor.

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