Here’s what different GUU events would be like as Glasgow University students

Any Glasgow student knows that the Glasgow University Union, or the GUU, is quite famous for its events. The GUU boasts several floors, bars, and, of course, Hive, and is the place to be on not one but two weekly student nights. Alongside Sports Wednesday and Hive Thursday, the Union hosts annual events throughout the year, from Freshers’ Week until the last day of the exam season.

As a now fourth year who spent way too much time in the GUU as a first and second year, its iconic spot in the Glasgow student scene has always intrigued me. So, I got to thinking – what if these events were actually Glasgow Uni students themselves? What would they study? Would they last all night on Daft Friday? Keep reading to find out.

1.  Sports Wednesday

Sports Wednesday is in their second year of studying business and finance, but it goes without saying that Thursday lectures are off the table for them. Can definitely be found in Grosvenor Cafe for pres, and absolutely will be found in someone else’s flat the morning after. Sports Wednesday would 100 per cent last all night at Daft Friday. Never one to turn down a night out, Sports Wednesday is a weekly regular at 727 for chips and cheese after a night full of Pints of Fun.

2. Hive Thursday

Hive Thursday is more chill than Sports Wednesday. Studying an arts degree like English lit, Hive Thursday is very selective over which weekly theme they actually attend. Listens to Taylor Swift and Harry Styles while getting ready, and then goes to some chill flat pres. Hive Thursday is not lasting at Daft – they’re home by 2am. They have a costume bag at the bottom of their wardrobe, and they love to grab a Blank Street on Fridays to recover.

3. St Patrick’s Day

St Patrick’s Day studies film and TV and is a regular at Naked Soup – not sure why,  but I feel this so strongly in my soul. Goes by Paddy to their friends, and can obviously be found in Kitty’s or Club O at Oran Mor on the weekends. Goes on the uni ski trip every year, and lasts all night at Daft Friday, right alongside Sports Wednesday. Paddy knows literally every single person they bump into in Hive. Their go-to spot to “study” is the Library Cafe, and then they blame their lack of studying on the noise level. Loves an Irish goodbye.

4. Freshers’ Week

Freshers’ Week is in their first year, and they study psychology. They have cried, slept, and crashed out in the JMS five times this week, and they’re committing flat-cest right now. But it’s all going to be okay, because the friend group is planning a summer trip to Albufeira. Freshers’ Week is the person who is permanently coughing at the back of the lecture hall, and it’s honestly no wonder because do they ever say no to a night out? Freshers’ Week fell asleep in the Union during Daft Friday, but the boost of energy it gave them was enough to make sure they made it through.

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5. Beach Hive

Beach Hive is a third year who studies Spanish. They’ve just come back from a year abroad and are correcting everyone’s pronunciation of Barcelona in Beer Bar. Likes to sit in the Gilchrist Post Grad Cafe because the JMS is too full of first years. Beach Hive knows someone on the GUU Board and always has a queue skip T-shirt ready. Will skip any class the moment the sun appears to sit in Kelvingrove Park with a vape and an M&S cocktail can. Beach Hive wasn’t at Daft Friday because they were somewhere sunny to escape the Glasgow winter.

6. Varsity Afters

Varsity is a rugby boy studying law. Likes to boast about being on the rugby team, but didn’t play in the Varsity game. Their flat is hosting pres every week and probably getting a nightly noise complaint from their downstairs neighbours. Varsity has about six situationships at once, and ignores them all in Hive. But he is great fun on a night out, and will last through Daft Friday purely because of pride.

7. Super Sunday

Studies sports science, is the captain of their sports team, and watches every sport known to man. GUSA ball is the only reason they’re even in uni at this point, and they always have a story to tell over a breakfast roll the next morning. Probably a fourth year, and definitely has not started their dissertation, so please don’t ask about it. Super Sunday doesn’t make it through the night on Daft Friday because they left early with someone they explicitly said they wouldn’t leave with.

8. Daft Friday

Daft Friday studies politics and is on the Board of the GUU. Has attended every event this year, and regularly posts on Instagram with the caption “we have more fun”. Daft Friday has missed more lectures than they can even count at this point, but somehow always ends up with a decent grade on assignments. They’re definitely posh, and when asked which university they attend, they answer ‘Uni of, mate’. Did Daft Friday last all night at Daft Friday? Of course. And they made sure everyone knew about it.