Your fave song from Sabrina Carpenter’s Short ‘n’ Sweet album tells us your Lancs ick

Sabrina Carpenter is releasing her seventh (yes, you heard us) studio album Man’s Best Friend on August 29th, and we are BEYOND excited. These really are Fast Times we’re living in.

Since Short ‘n’ Sweet blew up worldwide last summer, we thought we’d give each song from the tracklist a specific Lancaster ick to get us in the mood. By the way, if you do any of these (and I’m saying this as politely as I can), please please please stop.

Taste

Throwing food for the ducks.

If you like listening to Taste, your Lancaster ick is throwing food meant for the ducks… towards another group of people. Do you know how many times we’ve been sat on the Fylde steps and had someone launch pieces of their SPAR baguette our way, followed by a cascade of ducks? (Granted, it’s only happened once but they left quite the impression.)

Please Please Please

Talking in lectures

Seriously, stop talking in lectures. Heartbreak is one thing, your ego’s another. I don’t care about your social life. Let me lock in to what my lecturer is saying. If you’re one of those people who sits in the back row of Margaret Fell and spends the hour talking to your friends, we can all hear you.

Coincidence

Pushing in the underpass queue.

If Coincidence is your favourite Short ‘n’ Sweet song, your Lancaster ick is pushing to the front of the underpass queue. You’ve lost all your common sense. It’s not a coincidence that you’ve got all your heavy shopping and somehow made it to the front. We’re all waiting for a bus, so kindly stand in the queue and wait your turn – it won’t kill you.

Bed Chem

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Taking the George Fox sockets when you don’t need them.

Bed Chem may be an absolute tune, but why are you sitting next to the only sockets in George Fox when your laptop is fully charged? Some of us have laptops which barely last through a lecture; please be more considerate. Where art thou? Why not anywhere other than here?

Espresso

Eating smelly food in the library.

You may love the scent of a strong espresso, but not everyone does. Stop eating smelly food in the library. We’ve absolutely had enough. We have already made a guide here on The Tab about the smelliest foods in the library – so have a read if you think you’re one of the culprits. We’re trying to meet our deadlines in peace, so stop bringing in your microwave curry or last night’s pesto pasta. Is it that sweet? I guess so.

Good Graces

Reserving a library room for lunch.

There’s a special place reserved in hell (on the 100) for people who reserve a library room just so they have a place to sit and eat their lunch. To make matters worse, these people are known to bring in the smelliest foods, making it impossible to focus for the next group of people. Are they aware that the purpose of these rooms is for studying? Boy, it’s not that complicated. Please find somewhere else to sit.

Sharpest Tool

Reserving a library seat.

Speaking of the Lancs library, we never talk about it, but why are you reserving a singular, specific seat at a desk? If there’s a table of eight and I’m the only person sitting there, why are you uprooting me? Just sit on the other side. Please. Side note: Stop leaving all of your belongings on a desk then leaving for over an hour. Do you not value your devices?

Dumb & Poetic

Hogging the Fylde pool tables.

We don’t think you understand. Please stop hogging the pool tables in Fylde. This is possibly our most specific Lancaster ick, but there are only two of them in The Mill, and we’d quite like for them to be shared between the rest of us. Thank you!

Slim Pickins

Stealing whiteboard pens.

Sabrina was right, the good ones ARE deceased or taken. Exam season starts with a gorgeous box of brand new whiteboard pens, their bold colours standing pristine in their boxes, but then, by about a week in, there are only dead ones left. First of all, why are you returning the pens that have run out? Second of all, why are you taking them? Just leave at least some for the rest of us.

Juno

‘Spinewalking’.

Have you ever tried… walking at a normal pace? We get that you want to mark your territory, but PLEASE walk down the spine properly. Don’t stop in the middle of the path when you see a friend. Don’t walk in a row of four. Don’t dilly dally. We all have places to be. Stop spinewalking. You make me wanna make you stay at home.

Lie to Girls

Gloating about not doing your group project.

All of your best excuses don’t stand a chance. If you’re not doing your part in your group project, own up to it. We don’t want to hear from one of our friends that you’re boasting about leaving it for the rest of us. It’s your degree too, you know.

See above for when this happened to one of us.

Don’t Smile

Getting the 100 bus.

Our final Lancaster ick is getting the 100. Seriously, what are you doing all that for? We’re going to twist your words a bit here, Sabrina, because we definitely smile once it’s over. Get me off that hellish bus.

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