The age-old question: Should crunchy crisps be banned in Lancaster Uni’s library?

Lancaster University’s library is full of students studying and visiting, and we are spoilt for choice with where we can choose to set up for our study sessions with its three floors. However, once you commit to a floor, you have to be prepared for what comes with it.

So, if you want your best shot at finishing the assignment you had extended, you’d pick the “silent” C floor, right? Well…this floor is not exactly silent, not due to other students talking, but because of the sound of crisps. We love a good crisp, but there’s a time and place to crack open the smelliest and loudest packet of Walkers (other brands are available, of course), and there are certain crisps we think should be banned on the C floor of the library. Let’s talk about them, shall we?

Walkers Cheese and Onion

Starting strong, Walkers’ cheese and onion flavour. If you’re an avid Walkers consumer or know of the brand, then you’ve more than likely smelt the strong accents of this crisp. This scent is strong, it lingers, and the Walkers’ thin density makes it a loud crisp – these make the worst combination for the library.

Tangy Cheese Doritos

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Coming in next is tangy cheese Doritos. A classic amongst Lancaster students, however, this flavour is best kept for Taco Tuesdays as it can be smelt from the A floor (honestly, what is it with cheesy crisps?) and with Doritos’ triangular shape, there is some difficulty in eating these whole. Multiple chews on one crisp means numerous crunches that annoy anyone around you, and we think it’s quite embarrassing that you have to interrupt the quiet with your incessant munching.

Any flavour of Monster Munch

Speaking of munching, Monster Munch. Big, claw-shaped crisps. What could be worse? All the attributes of this crisp are smelly, noisy, and leave trails of “munch” debris scattered on the floor or seat, so it won’t be hard to find the culprit.

These crisps come in the strongest and most obscure flavours known to man, such as roast beef, pickled onion and sweet and spicy flamin’ hot. Along with the size and hollow density of these crisps, you’re guaranteed to get no work done at all. Say goodbye to your productive study session you planned, and hello to bloodshot eyes and a lack of focus.

BBQ Hula Hoops

Small, dainty and in a pocket-sized packet are the Hula Hoops. Although no bigger than a thumbnail, these savoury snacks pack a loud punch, and a crunch that causes an echo. Also, like Monster Munch, Hula Hoops have strong flavours that will certainly have you evacuating the C floor of the library in favour of the Greggs queue.

Flame Grilled Steak McCoy’s

Lastly, this crisp creates vibrations of noise that disturb even those who are deeply sleeping in County Main accommodation, it’s the McCoy’s. With their crinkle-cut texture, they honestly sound like someone is eating gravel.

If you decide to pick these crisps, please eat them outside, where there actually is gravel, instead of annoying everyone with the sounds of teeth going in and out of the crisps’ ridges.

Our recommendation

We suggest that you opt for a softer crisp if you want a savoury snack while in the library, such as Spar’s Cheezies. Even though they smell a little, at least only one of our senses is affected.