This is what your Easter egg of choice says about your overall vibe

Spring in the air, copious amounts of confectionary— Easter may actually be better than Christmas. And amidst boozy bank holiday brunches, premature barbecues and semi-wholesome countryside walks, there’s one thing we’ll all definitely be doing over the next weekend: sitting on the sofa, stuffing our faces with chocolate eggs.

Cadbury’s, Thorntons, Reese’s, Green & Black’s: the wall of options on supermarket shelves seems limitless. And which Easter egg you choose to give and receive actually say a lot about your overall vibe. Easter wouldn’t be Easter without a groundbreaking egg ranking etc, so here’s the annual one – designed to give you a festive personality crisis. Enjoy!

Any novelty egg

Let’s be honest, anything that comes with a free mug is going to taste like straight up plastic. So, if you’re into novelty eggs (we all love Barbie but not in our food) you probably prefer style over substance. Instagram famous restaurants for the flower wall photo, Shein knock offs of TikTok famous designs, baby pink acrylics since 2018. Either that energy, or you’re five.

Mini eggs egg

You had 20 “best friends” at secondary school and have been using Chloé perfume your entire adult life. Essentially, you’re highly likeable but a little bit basic and predictable. Sorry! Mini eggs are undeniably Fiat 500 girlies’ favourite snack. Cute and palatable with no surprises x

Thorntons personalised egg

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You’ve been told “no” exactly zero times in your entire life. Definitely an only child, you always get your own way and all the attention the world has to offer. This egg is just another embodiment of your main character energy.

Green & Black’s egg

Cost of living crisis who? You’re chomping on this next to your crusty white dog after visiting the local parish for your village’s annual Easter bonnet decorating competition. Organic only household. The Gwyneth Paltrow of the Home counties.

Lindt egg

You’re pretty sexy in small doses but entirely overwhelming on the regular. You have a thirteen step skin care routine, are a life-long follower of the red nail theory and go to Dubai at least three times a year. Boujee, ballsy – not everyone’s cup of tea. Have parents with copious amounts of disposable income.

Cadbury’s (plain) egg

Classic, timeless, loved by all. Your favourite restaurant is Nando’s and you’ll spend most of the bank holiday hanging out with your mum and watching Gogglebox, The Sound of Music and Bake Off re-runs. You’re so laid back, content and uncontactable your friends haven’t seen you on a night out since pre-pandemic.

Smarties egg

Man child. Grow up.

Crunchie

You’re fun. Really fun. Will probably consume this entire thing (Crunchie bars x3 included) after downing limitless Aperols at boozy brunch and staying out until 6am by accident on Good Friday. You’ve lost your dignity, your morals and your Monzo card but it’s nothing an egg and an episode of MAFS can’t fix.

Daim

You like to think you’re edgy with diverse, underground, indie tastes. But your favourite FredAgain song is still Rumble. You’ll spend the day trying to make your Nan’s house look aesthetic with zoomed in Instagram stories but everyone knows you’re actually just having a roast in Surrey.

Maltesers

You’ve nailed the perfect balance of partying and peace and nobody understands how you do it. If an after party ends at 6am, you’re on a family walk by 10am. You are the best at everything. This Maltesers egg and bunny will be the only Easter treat you have before jumping straight back into training for the London Marathon. Some call you well rounded, others highly strung.

Reese’s

Your parents don’t understand you and that’s okay. A pioneer of our times.

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