This is what your favourite Elf bar flavour says about your overall vibe

The past few years have been a long slog. Students have had it rough, they were the face of a national hate campaign for Covid spreaders, they’ve been through numerous university strikes and now they might not even graduate if their shit doesn’t get marked. No wonder they’ve all taken up vaping – they need something to take the edge off.

But now everyone seems to be doing it and it’s become crystal clear what type of person you are based on your choice of Elf bar flavour. For example, only someone who’s still scared of inhaling buys a blueberry one and we all know Tories love puffing on the kiwi passion fruit guava so much they’ve genuinely considered naming their first child after it.

So yes, the Elf bar you buy from your corner shop is actually a true reflection of your vibe. Someone only needs to glance at the stick in your gob to know everything about you as a person.

Blueberry

You’re just trying out vaping for the first time and just getting to grips with actually inhaling. You picked up vaping because all your mates took it up and you felt left out but you mainly felt fed up of standing outside in the smoking area twiddling your thumbs. Hence your lack of ability to truly inhale.

Grape

You’re always the first person to throw up on a night out. Any time you vape and drink in the sun you complain about getting a hot head and throw your guts up an hour or so later.

Banana ice

This could be a touchy subject but I imagine you were bullied quite badly at school. You’re now at some swanky uni to study something you have absolutely no passion for. You’re maybe even a little dead inside but it’s okay because you enjoy a banana ice Elf bar and that clearly makes up for any personality you lack.

Strawberry banana

You get by on pure vibe. You don’t even care what your vape tastes like because it looks like a vibe.

Kiwi passion fruit guava

This is undeniable Tory energy. But you’re not a Tory by birth, it’s something you picked up at uni along with your shit siggie ring, habit of saying “rah” and ability to not break a sweat when wearing a North Face puffer. At least if you were a Tory by birth you’d maybe be a bit more grounded but unfortunately you’re insufferable just like this flavour.

Mint

You grew up watching your parents chain smoke, didn’t you?

Cream tobacco

I don’t want to psychoanalyse someone but are you okay? Because what you’re smoking right now is telling me two things, either you’re having a breakdown or somehow a 65-year-old man from Bristol has wound up on this article.

Pink lemonade or mango milk ice

If Fiat 500 was vapour she would be pink lemonade and no one can convince me otherwise. You exclusively shop on PLT and Missguided and you’d rather die than live sustainably – hence why you’re so hardcore on the disposable vapes.

Strawberry ice

You’re the type of person who gets off on telling everyone you “love pints” when in the harsh reality, you order Kopparberg at the pub. This is the official Elf bar of “if you know, you know”.

Apple

“Did you know one full journey on the Northern line is the equivilant of smoking four cigarettes? Why do that when you can vape instead?”

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