I spent a day wearing Crocs to uni because apparently they’re fashionable

I generally keep an open mind towards a quirky new idea or trend, so when fashion magazines went ecstatic over British designer Christopher Kane’s latest show, I obviously had to look into it.

What new and exciting thing does fashion week hold for us? What trend is going to make fashion lovers across the globe go in a frenzy? The answer?

Rock-encrusted Crocs.

Gasps. Screams. Horror. Plain Crocs? Disgusting. Crocs with precious mineral stones, however? Well, that’s just a whole new ball game entirely! This monument of a shoe has already gained the approval of the titans over at Vogue, so true to my adventurous, curious and ever querying spirit, I decided to put these babies to the test. Thus, I procured a pair of the monstrosities in pink and hit the road.

Firstly, I immediately found a flaw with them and no, it’s not that they were undoubtedly the most eye catching, horrifying clothing item on a twelve mile radius. In the November temperatures of the Midlands, these bad boys provided zero warmth.

Secondly, these are not the kind of items that go unnoticed. The first stare came from the bus driver, whose questioning glance and half smile was not lost on me. As we reached campus, I dreaded the next major test of standing up from my seat and getting off the bus with all these people. True enough, I counted three sneaky glances, but otherwise no one seemed really outraged. Turns out you can wear anything to uni.

Next I went to grab a coffee before my first lecture. Waiting in the queue of the busy library cafe, the weight of my styling decision began to weigh heavily. Glances left and right. A chuckle behind me. To make matters worse, the inevitable happened, because there is truthfully only one possible outcome when you mix rubber shoes and linoleum floor: a lot of squeaking. The barista took my order and accidentally catching a glimpse of my accessories, asked if this was a new trend the ‘kids’ were exploring. Precisely, good sir! Precisely. I squeaked away with dignity and with the wrong coffee.

Finally, I reached my department. Fortunately, my lecture and seminar rooms all have carpeting and as a result, I was robbed of my now characteristic sound effects for the rest of the day. I did manage to get enough laughs out of my friends even though no one was really surprised – “is this another thing you’re testing?”. Everyone seemed to assume that wearing Crocs to uni was a dare rather than the voluntary stylistic decision of an adult, which really says it all.

In conclusion, do I even need to say it? This is not a trend that should down in history and it needs to die before it even takes off. There is a fine line between the comfortable ‘ugly shoe’ trend (loafers, granny heels etc.) and just plain ugly. I will for now list my little pink monsters for sale and happily return to my beloved high heels.