Here are the disasters guaranteed to happen in your second year house

Second years, agree with me: this year is tough. The problems we thought we had dealt with in our first year accommodation seem like a far-off dream of a better life. Who knew I would miss the 10am fire drills whilst hungover in my pyjamas or the Resident Life Tutor knocking on our flat door to shut us up?

Now, we’ve moved up in the world. We finally have freedom in our second-year houses! But with this freedom comes responsibility, and while we may be living in our own homes, we are still immature. Accidents are bound to happen.

From one scarred human to another, here is a list of the guaranteed disasters to prepare for in your second-year house.

Ew, the kitchen is alive!

You’d think after the horrors of overflowing bins and crusty kitchen counters in student halls that people would learn to clean up after themselves. But alas, this is not the case. At least in first year, we had the luxury of a cleaner every week. To the cleaners last year, I wholeheartedly thank you for your service.

Teach yourself to clean as you go along. It’s a skill that will help you for the rest of your life. If you can keep to a cleaning rota, I take my hat off to you; you’re doing a lot better than me. And I pray you have a year of spotless kitchen surfaces and bins that fit all of your rubbish too. You see, all second years are desperate for their first year cleaners to come back, and a guaranteed disaster you’ll stumble across is that they won’t, in fact, be returning – they’ve wiped your sticky counter-top for the very last time.

so apparently this helps clean your dishes…?

Definitely something illegal next door

This may just be me, but there is definitely something illegal happening next door. Coventry is for sure a scary city, and whilst Leamington may lure you into a false sense of security, the police cars parked on my street suggest otherwise.

Most of you will be lucky with your houses, but unfortunately for some, there’s that constant smell of a certain illegal drug wafting into your room. Don’t be alarmed, this is the norm. Just carry on with your day and you’ll be fine.

Bills, bills, bills

I miss the days of Warwick Accommodation when bills didn’t exist. 40-minute showers? Lovely! Heating on all day? Toasty! Forgot to switch off your lights? Who cares!

Well, now you have to care. Turns out there is only so much money you have, and choosing between a warm room and buying groceries is actually a choice you’ll need to make. And without making this political (*cough* Boris sucks *cough*), utility prices are skyrocketing at the moment, so fighting with your flatmates about bills is a given. Someone will inevitably leave their bedroom light on over Christmas or forget to switch off the oven for three days. So if I can give you one piece of advice when living in your first house, please research cheap utility providers. And live with people who switch off their lights.

Flatcest!

Flatcest. Truly one of the more difficult situations to deal with in a flat. Unfortunately, these stories are a dime a dozen. In first year, you can at least get away with avoiding them in a flat of 12, or coordinate your schedule so you eat when they’re in a seminar.

However, some don’t have that luxury. When you live in a house of three, sharing one bathroom and a tiny kitchen, avoiding a one-night-mistake is a lot more difficult than you would think.

So here is my plea to you. Don’t commit flatcest. It’s really not worth the hassle. I wouldn’t usually recommend dating apps or getting with your ex, but if it helps you avoid that one drunken moment with the one across the corridor, then do it. Flatcest may have worked out for Jess and Nick (respect if you have watched New Girl), but it’s not always worth the hassle.

And if you do succumb to temptations, like so many others before you, then good luck.

very tempted to print this out and stick it on the fridge

The life and soul of the party

And now we come to the most important part of owning a house – throwing an absolute rager of a party. Everyone should have a kick-ass house party once in their university life. These stories will spark hilarious conversations for years to come. Examples of stories I have heard include:

• Someone throwing up in an elevator and passing out in said vomit.

• Falling in love with someone’s mum and calling them to confess their love

• Being shouted at by the neighbour for singing the ‘Bob the Builder’ theme tune too loudly

• Ordering takeaway and convincing the delivery guy to boogie down during his visit

• Having a guy down his wineglass at your flatmate’s birthday party and then pass out three times in your bathroom (we had to go round the back and see if he doing okay. He was not)

Just prepare for a messy morning the next day and the possibility of losing your deposit. You’ll inevitably find broken bowls in the sink, red wine on the wall, and one of your flatmates screaming that their shoes have been stolen (not joking, someone’s actually stolen shoes after a party). But that’s what makes parties so fun – the complete chaos that happens the next day.

Even though these things happen, second-year housing is awesome. True freedom cannot be diminished, and I wouldn’t trade that freedom for anything. We’ve made it this far, so we can make it through anything. And if you’ve managed to get through this list without relating to one of these disasters; firstly, how? Secondly, want to live together next year?

aaand this was only half of what we had bought

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