Every type of relationship you’ll have at uni

Netflix and chill doesn’t count


Ever had that awkward conversation – “but what are we actually doing?” – and not known what on earth to say?

They might be a bit more than a friend, a sometimes bed buddy or even your full blown soulmate.

But how can you tell what type of relationship you’re in?

The Serious Romance

Do you shamelessly devote yourself to PDA’s?

Do you comment casually on particularly nice fruit bowls?

You may as well have your bachelor party now – things have gotten serious. Prepare to start identifying as “we” and ending every night out in a comfortable spooning position 3 hours before the club closes, rather than passed out on the bathroom floor of someone else’s flat.

Some people take the piss – own it, you have someone who doesn’t care if you wear those dorkily huge slippers around them.

The LDR’s

The Long Distance Relationship is the first, big obstacle to love.

Aged 18 and in the first “proper” relationship since you told that guy you loved him on MSN in Year 7, you’re suddenly flung to opposite ends of the country.

Although very similar to the Serious Relationshippers, you’ll be reduced to soppy Skype conversations and drunken texts at 3am. Also – prepare for the extra costs: train prices will rip your student loan apart.

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The Fuck Buddies

Everyone’s dream relationship – for the first month. You shag, you high-five, you go get pizza. Perfection right?

Fuck Buddies can often be identified through their overly blasé jokes about the other’s sexual prowess and exaggerated disgust at the idea of a relationship with them.

Casual sex is all well and good – but doing it as friends, as we all learned from the myriad of films about Friends with Benefits (thank you JT), only ever leads to a dramatic reunion while violins play in the background. So be prepared.

Sex: accomplished

Sex: accomplished

The One Night Stand

Particularly rife during the mating season commonly known as Freshers, One Night Stands are essentially entire relationships boiled down into one night.

You meet, flirting and acting coy in the club, before abandoning all pretence in the cab and beginning the real party earlier.

You’ll potentially cuddle (the Honeymoon Period) before rolling away and assuming the only actually comfortable way to sleep. In the morning – it’s divorce time.

Awkward excuses are made, commiseration cups of tea are offered, and the visiting party will pay a hasty exit – potentially only after taking a post-sex selfie.

Who is that?

Who is that?

The Awkward Pull

We’ve all been there – you’ve danced, you’ve bought drinks, you’ve been hilariously witty. But in the end, nothing will come of this.

Your friends have already witnessed you dance away the evening with the partner in question, so the shame of bailing out early is too much.

So you exchange a hasty peck and potentially phone numbers and go back to the group with a solid pull under your belt.

But the next morning you wake up to seventeen texts and a Facebook add. How do they even know your last name?

These one-sided relationships after often characterised by screenshotted conversations and exclamations of insanity – be warned of the crossover from One Night Stand into this nightmare.

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 There you have it, every sort of love you’ll see on campus.