Just a list of things that every single Soton student has said
We all own a pair of bloody jesters’ shoes
Natalie Aminoff“I’ve had a tiring day…I deserve getting the U2B back to Glen.”
“Another quadvod won’t hurt…”
“Don’t leave me in Ocies cos I’ll never see you again”
“I’m in Switch VIP”…”Where?”
“What’s in a jesticle?”
“I need to get new jesters shoes”
“I ended up on Alma Road at 5am last night”
“I’m singing Robbie Williams at karaoke tonight”
“What time is the safety bus?”
“Come with me to the two-bicle”
“Let’s see Annie Mac”
“Us. is a shit rebrand name”
“Grad ball was a disappointment ngl”
“Brunch at Trago?”
“What you wearing to Itchy feet?”
“Let me try and message Becky Jane from Sobar”
“Take an aesthetical pic of me in the common pls”
“I’m at Boldrewood today”…”Where?”
“Does this bus go to Ocies?”
“I can’t wait till we get into Jesters I need to pee now”
“I’ll meet you on the Red Brick”
“The Tab is shit”
“Has anyone been to the Edge?”
“Who is Lucy and why is she so Juicy?”
“Let’s not go to Parfait”
“Who is the Rat man?”
“I have a 9am but fuck it, let’s go Jesters”
This is no dancefloor, this is hell
“Cba, just gonna Uber to Aldi”
“I’m only going to Ocies for the maccies after”
“Are you bringing gum to Switch”
“Where is the Maths building”
“Why are there locals in Stags”
“I need to get a banana for Ocies”
“I miss the old SUSU”
“You know Bencraft is opposite the crematorium”
“There’s legit mould in my room, lol awks”
“Shall we do text a toastie lol”
“Can we leave the club I fancy a custard cream from the Christian Union”
Southampton University bans Stanley cups in lectures after damage caused by leakages
Francesca EkeStudents carrying the cups will be asked to leave them outside lecture halls inside a ‘Stanley holding pen’
Russell Group student stalked lecturer and booked registry office for their imaginary wedding
Emily SmithHe also printed out pictures of her six year old son and called himself her ‘husband’ and ‘dear slave’
Pieter Snepvangers
The Soton Tab is looking for new writers and we want you!
We’re hosting an open meeting on Thursday 23rd March at 4pm over Zoom
Get your diaries out: These are all the upcoming Southampton Uni strike dates in one place
Staff are going on strike for 18 days in the next two months
Izzy Schifano
Southampton Uni fire which saw students evacuated from the area was caused by a ‘chiller unit’
Smoke spread across three floors of the uni building
Southampton Uni promises to read out grads’ names and shake their hand at graduation
Students resorted to shaking each other’s hands in the summer ceremonies at St Mary’s
Confirmed: Southampton Uni staff are going on strike for three days this month
The UCU say strikes could continue in the new year as well as a potential marking boycott
Sustainable queens: Southampton officially 18th best in UK according to new uni rankings
And no it’s not because of the city’s rats
Applications for The Soton Tab’s editorial team are now OPEN
We’re recruiting for Editor in Chief, News Editor, Features Editor and Social Media / TikTok Editor
Southampton is officially 12th best university in UK, according to new World Rankings
But do any of the other unis have Manzil’s though?
Freshers living in hotels after burst pipe ‘floods’ Unite Students accommodation
Videos show water gushing from the ceiling and down corridors
As a 2020 grad, I waited two years for my graduation ceremony – and it was a car crash
I love waiting for two years to not even have my name called out on stage x
A Russell Group uni isn’t reading out its grads’ names at graduation ceremonies this week
And the grads aren’t even getting a handshake on stage!!
Southampton student gives birth on the toilet without knowing she was pregnant
Phoebe KowhaiJess Davis thought she was just experiencing period pain
Inside Sara and Lauren’s adorable friendship after meeting on MAFS Australia 2024
Ellie RingBest thing to come out of MAFS tbh
Selling Sunset’s Bre sued for over $12million by previous employees over ‘vulgar behaviour’
Hayley SoenIn the lawsuit she’s been accused of homophobia and threatening violence
From sparkly bows to black spikes: Inside JoJo Siwa’s generation defining life
Mia BladonShe did indeed come back like a Boomerang
From architects to models: All the new partners of the MAFS Australia 2024 cast members
They look so much happier!
Explaining the completely bizarre and violent ending of Love Lies Bleeding
Harrison BrocklehurstI support lesbian rights AND lesbian wrongs!
The MAFS Australia 2024 cast members who are still beefing, even now the show is over
They really won’t ever rest
Lawyer reveals the Baby Reindeer scenes Netflix should have cut to keep Martha anonymous
‘What Richard Gadd has done is very high risk’
Ellie reveals shocking axed insults that made her swear at Sara at MAFS Australia reunion
I can see why she lost her cool
Tears and walk outs: All the dramatic scenes cut from the MAFS Australia 2024 reunion
We were robbed of SO much chaos
Six months after the MAFS Australia 2024 reunion, have Jack and Tori said ‘I love you’ yet?
The all important question
Inside the controversial Serena Williams tennis match that inspired the film Challengers
‘What if you really needed to talk about something? And what if it was something going on beyond tennis?’
Omg, Tim wishes he had quit MAFS Australia 2024 and ‘regrets’ not walking off the show
And thought the show was ‘messed up’
MAFS Australia’s Jack and Tori have ranted about their co-stars on their secret Instagram
‘We honestly couldn’t give a f*ck’
There was massive cast drama surrounding the pronunciation of Sara’s name on MAFS Australia
Tim revealed how it ‘blew out of proportion’
Meet the full glam cast of Buying London, Netflix’s new UK Selling Sunset style show
It’s coming later this month!
‘It’s wrecked my week’: Real life Martha ‘targeted by cult’ following Baby Reindeer on Netflix
‘They are determined to stalk me the same way I am stalking them’
Tori’s bestie from the MAFS Australia wedding now thinks her and Jack are ‘so compatible’
Changed her tune since she was a bridesmaid I see
Tori declares ‘good riddance’ to rest of MAFS Australia 2024 cast in savage Instagram post
Looks like she won’t be seeing any of them again in a hurry
Um, Jayden made Lauren cry and she stormed out the MAFS Australia 2024 reunion?!
Production had to step in and have a word with Jayden, but all of this was cut from the show
You have 20/20 vision if you can find the cat in this optical illusion in five seconds
Anyone else now craving ice cream?
Memes, streams, popstar of dreams: How Sabrina Carpenter’s Espresso took over the world
Me 80 times a day: ‘I’m working late, ’cause I’m a singer’