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What Hallam and Uni of Sheffield are really like, according to TripAdvisor

One reviewer said Hallam has “superior chat”

It's getting to that time of year again where A-Level students start to think about their results, doubting themselves and wondering whether they even want to go to uni and start looking at really, just really shit unis in case they haven't done as well as they'd hoped. But what if UCAS isn't the place to go for university guides, what if the league tables don't tell you that information you want to hear? Well, look at TripAdvisor of course!

TripAdvisor, a safe haven for the most pernickety, fussy people on God's scorched Earth, is absolutely the place to go for university guides, because apparently it's hilarious.

So here we are, a round up of the best TripAdvisor reviews* of Sheffield Hallam, University of Sheffield, and their buildings.

*all of the spelling and grammatical errors in speech marks are deliberate, that's how the reviewer wrote them. Do not fucking @ me on Twitter telling me I'm an idiot, I'm well aware I'm an idiot.

Uni of Sheffield

Nick73 said "Nothing much to visit if you're a tourist although the old building is very attractive", which is true, because as everyone who took a graduation photo outside Firth Court will know – we are all horny for Firth Court.

smartesthorse said "The University of Sheffield as opposed to Hallam, a 'lesser' but still good university is a large Russell Group school with excellent undergraduate teaching and world class research links", because all of the other, less intelligent horses go to Hallam, of course.

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He did go on to say "Sheffield is an example of how a city of many races and religions can live together happily", which is the most wholesome of content.

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Ludwik D threw some absolute shade at both Hallam and Uni of, saying "The campus is not bad. Far better than the former polytechnics. But substandard compared to proper campus universities".

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PaultheWexfordViking, who may be calling students thick or may be making a political statement regarding the funding of the university, said "University staff pull off miracles".

dinningtondavid said "Go play on the non-stop doorless lift – but be careful, they're killers !!" There musn't be a lot to do in Dinnington.

Which brings us to:

The Arts Tower

One reviewer called it "fascinating", whilst another said that the paternoster was "slow and didn't feel great", which to be honest may as well be a metaphor for the whole university experience.

Tarndy got very animated when finding the Arts Tower on TripAdvisor listed as an attraction, saying "It's a BUILDING". Just wait until they find out that Buckingham Palace is in fact a building too.

Jeff P said "Try the paternoster lift for getting from floor to floor. But don't stay on it all the way to the top, until it starts coming down the other side. Against the rules, could be dangerous." Too right Jeff, it could well be dangerous and it is against the rules.

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I feel like Hallam gets an unfair reputation as a shit university, and some of the reviewers at Uni of really play into this. But surely, surely, some people who have been to Hallam will stick up for it, right?

shawaddy70 said "What a joke toilets stink and the coffee shop us disgusting its given up no nice food pre made sanwiches and if your a vegi you might aswell firget it as they dont give 2 ..xo$#** about you..not one vegi option…cheers."

DavidUhlar pointed out that "If you have received a number of negative reviews have you ever wondered why they have not been more positive ?"

Okay, so maybe reviewers hate Hallam too.

Castro82 got very philopsophical, denouncing university education whilst saying "Money is always a problem that entails higher education. Other reviews called for praise. I call for a justice of wallet. […] My dear son, education is no longer the way forward, it only provides steps backwards." You heard it here first, kids, Marx went to Hallam.

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"It's not really a great place to graduate from to my knowledge," said Peter from Rotherham. Peter, obviously, is not Hallam 'til he dies.

"The buildings aretoo ultra modern for my taste," said Chris1943, who, to be fair, has a point – HUBS would certainly look out of place in 1943.

However, Hallam received positive reviews from some, with former students going as far as calling it the "best time of my life" and "Sheffields other great treasure". However, someone did say it has a "good student union" in a five star review, which makes me skeptical if I'm quite honest.

One reviewer said that, although Hallam "to me is home and every time I see that bright pink lights as I come into the city I feel great", they also said "the building looks like the turned an old mental asylum into a university". So swings and roundabouts, I suppose.

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One reviewer said that Hallam had "superior chat in comparison to any similar establishment of it's kind in the city, that is without a doubt". That's one for the prospectus, isn't it.