Football’s coming home and Sheffield Hallam attempted a meme about it
A meme so sauceless it may as well be Alex from Love Island
Yeah, that's right, Sheffield Hallam has attempted a meme. Fresh from replying with a GIF to the girl their website called an 'invalid nonce', they're back at it again with the razor sharp wit and topical bantz.
How did this meme come about? – An entirely hypothetical situation
I'm going to assume that the top dogs at Sheffield Hallam have sat around a table and said, "Right guys, we need a way of proving to everyone we're not just some money-focused organisation intent on taking in students with mid-to-shit A Level results and pumping them out with less money than they had previously, we need to show everyone that we're one of the lads".
The Sheffield Hallam bigwigs sit around looking confused. "But how can we do that without making it look like we really aren't in touch with popular culture? How would we do it without even showing the slightest bit of humour, like not even an ounce of humour, so little humour that it defeats the point of the humorous meme we would be partaking in?", someone in that meeting I am presuming came out with based on what they eventually created.
"I know! How about we jump on the association football's coming home bandwagon everyone is so obsessed with", one bright spark says.
"Association football? Whomst is coming home?" someone might have said.
"Some young men with enough money to pay off their student loans are playing in a sporting contest in Russia and apparently they're bringing the sport home with them".
"Enough? money? to? pay? off? their? student? loans?" everyone presumably gasps.
After this I can't even imagine what happened or how many people this went through before some poor intern pressed send on this tweet. Some young guy, just trying to find his place in life, having to press send on a tweet so inadvisable he may as well have just tweeted "porn" and have it over with. Who signed off on this? Is it the same person who signed off on my degree? My degree comes from this university. I owe this institution money.
The meme, everybody.
Unpacking the meme
Now I don't want to shit on this meme because I studied at Sheffield Hallam for three years and I don't have a bad word to say about any of the staff members I came across in my time there – but I am about to shit on this meme.
1. I refuse to believe Harry Maguire is so sauceless, so unfilled with sauce, so lacking in sauce, that he would go up to some girls and say something so lacking in sauce. This tweet is bread, just pure dry bread. Not an ounce of sauce. This tweet has gone up to self service screens in McDonald's and customised its burger to come with no sauce. This tweet is Dr. Alex from Love Island.
2. Who is going up to another human being right now and saying "They say football is coming home"? Everyone is aware that football is coming home, the whole country is engrossed in this narrative of football coming home, coming home to find Megan Barton-Hanson and Boris Johnson dividing the country in different but equally as destructive ways. Who is 'they'? 'They say'? WHO SAYS? THE WHOLE OF THE UK?
3. Football is not coming home to Sheffield. I'm sorry but football is coming home to everyone. That is the beauty of football coming home – its home is everywhere. Live in a terraced student house built for three people yet is somehow housing six of you? Football is coming home. Live in halls with absolutely the worst people you've ever met? Football is coming home. Live in a house with 'Live, Laugh, Love' on the walls? Unfortunately, football is coming home to you too.
4. How can something be so lacking in sauce though?
5. 281 people have liked this tweet at the time of writing. Two hundred and eighty one.
6. Does that mean 281 people taught this was laden with sauce?
7. Will my graduation be this dry?